Weddings, birthdays, and funerals

If you haven't heard already, the past few weeks in our family’s lives have been kind of crazy. We've had a lot of ups and a lot of downs that are all just part of mortality. We've been able to celebrate with those who are celebrating, and we've mourn with those who are mourning.

To start off, at the beginning of September, I received news that my grandma was in surgery. There were some complications, but for a while things looked hopeful. However, her health took a turn for the worse. It was over the 3-day Labor Day weekend that I heard my grandma may not make it. After talking with Stephen, we decided that Paige and I should go to St. George to be with my mom and my grandma.

Stephen would have come as well, but he was scheduled to fly to California for a work conference that week. It actually turned out nice so that I was able to have help with Paige while Stephen was out of town. I drove down that Monday evening and visited my grandma in the hospital. She was heavily medicated, and, in order to control her pain, sedated as well.

The next day, many of my grandma's children gathered at the hospital. They had a family council to decide what should be done with my grandma. The road to recovery would have been long and difficult, if it was possible at all. There was also the questioning of her quality of life if she did recover. After much prayer and consideration, my grandma's children decided to honor her wishes to not be kept alive with machines and rather to allow her to join my grandpa in heaven. My grandpa had died two years ago to the day.

My grandma's passing was very peaceful and spiritual. I personally felt the confirmation that this would have been what she wanted. In fact, a few days before I knew things were going bad, I had a dream where I saw my grandpa. Only I could see him and I asked him what he was doing. He told me with a smile on his face he was just waiting for my grandma. Basically, he was waiting for whenever she was ready. The look he had on his face was very loving and tender towards my grandma. It was a very special dream of comfort to me. I have no doubt that they are together again.

That next weekend, I came back home to Salt Lake City for Stephen's cousin's wedding. Stephen's family was able to come and stay with us for a night and attend the wedding with us the next day. It was great to show them our new house since they hadn't seen it yet. The wedding was all so beautiful. They are one of those couples that make you feel like they were meant to be together all along. It was a nice day to spend with family.

A few days later, my dad came to stay with us while he had cataract surgery on one of his eyes. The surgery had been scheduled for a while and he was excited to have it done. Everything went well with the surgery, and Tuesday morning came with zero complications. My dad was supposed to go into the eye doctor for a follow-up check, and then drive home to St. George. I had been invited to go hang out with some friends that morning. I had to leave about a half hour before my dad would have needed to leave, so I asked him to lock up and drove to be with my friends. About a half-hour later, I received a phone call from my neighbor saying that my dad was having a stroke. Understandably, I was quite in shock. I left Paige with my friends and drove to the hospital to be with my dad.

My dad then explain to me what had happened. He had carried his suitcase upstairs and was lifting it to put it on the couch to add a few more items to it. He said he then felt very dizzy and nauseous. He laid on the ground, hoping it would help him feel better, but it didn't. He tried calling someone for help but his phone wasn't working properly. My dad then crawled a few feet to my front door and laid on my porch, calling for help. A few of my neighbors heard him and were able to call the ambulance for him. My dad was numb on the right side of his body. Later in the hospital, it was determined that he also could not swallow. His speech was very labored and slow.

I called my family to update them on what had happened. Once the doctor told me to tell my mom to come, she gathered the kids from school and drove up to Salt Lake. My dad was transferred to the Murray Hospital where he stayed a few days. So many people were concerned for him, it was hard to keep everybody updated, especially when there was either no news or only negative news to share. Everyone had good intentions, but I felt like the only answer I could give to everyone was "I don't know."

Even though my dad was in the hospital, my grandmother's funeral was scheduled for that weekend.  We had to leave my dad behind in the good care of his doctors to travel to Arizona for the funeral. It was nice to have Stephen travel with me this time. We stopped in St. George the first night in order to break up the driving. We then continued on to my grandparents’ home town of Page, Arizona the next day for what presumably would be my last time visiting there. Well, it was obviously a sad time together, but it was really nice to be with so much family. There were many relatives there that I had not seen in years. My grandmother's funeral was beautiful and I felt comfort and peace. She was 82 years old when she died. She had nine kids, 37 grandkids, and 37 great-grandkids. She lived a full life and was loved much and gave much. Honestly, I feel like since everyone has to die sometime, this is the ideal way to go, surrounded by family and love.

Being at my grandma's house without her there was different, but there was also so much family that it felt like home still. While going through some of her things, we found a stack of love letters that my grandpa had written to my grandma while they were dating. They were sappy and full of longing during their long-distance relationship.

For those that don't know. My grandparents eloped when my grandma was 16. They had told her parents they were going to visit the Grand Canyon. Instead they drove to Vegas. There, they wanted my grandma to prove that she was 18, but since she wasn't old enough, she couldn't prove anything. So they drove to Pioche, Nevada. There, the wedding chapel decided that, if she looked old enough to get married, she was old enough. After their elopement and a night in Parowan, my grandpa took my grandma back home and they both said they had a lovely time at the Grand Canyon! After a few weeks, my grandma admitted to her parents that they actually got married and wrote my grandpa asking him to come get her. My grandpa nervously talked with my grandma's dad, and after a bit of disappointment from my great-grandpa for the secrets, he said he approved and told Grandpa to take care of my grandma. In their record of this story, my grandma said he had more than fulfilled that promise.

Because there was so much extended family visiting, we were not able to stay at my grandma's house. Instead, a kind neighbor of my grandma's offered up her home. We were amazed that the accommodations. They were several bedrooms and two kitchens. However, the biggest surprise was probably the indoor ball pit built into the wall. Paige was initially nervous to play in there, but she warmed up to it and had fun. The neighbors also gave us snacks and fed us dinner and breakfast. We are very grateful for their generosity.

The Sunday after the funeral, we all drove back home to St.George. We then got ready and went to the temple for some photos. To backtrack, my sister Susan got married this summer. we have been waiting on the photographer for the photos for several months. She finally reached out to us and told us that the photos were lost. She was able to recover the photos from the reception, but all of the photos taken at the temple were no longer available. It was very heartbreaking to hear. To try to make this up, we had a redo wedding photo session this weekend. We all dressed up as if it were the wedding day and took photos. While this obviously cannot replace the actual events with all of the wedding party, it is at least some little consolation. Once we were done with the photos, Stephen, Paige, and I drove back home.

After all of this craziness, it was nice to celebrate Stephen's 26th birthday today. I surprised him at work with a balloon and some cupcakes. Page and I also put his name on the wall with crepe paper as per our tradition. I made him sausage casserole, a dish his mom makes, and well I got a stamp of approval, he did admit that it wasn't quite like how his mom makes it. He told me he was willing to let me practice making it anytime I want. I gave him some presents and let him play games with his friends online for the evening.

I'm sure this blog post is missing several details that would be worth noting. The past few weeks have been so busy and crazy, it is hard to remember everything. However, I think my family and I will be stronger for all of this. Page has been resilient through all the turmoil and changes. She is really cute. I wish I could capture every adorable things she does and share it with the world. I could mention her expanded ability to talk and her creative ways of playing with toys. I wish I was able to remember every little detail of her and capture it in time for ever. She is growing up. I love each stage of her life as it comes. It's been quite an experience to see so many phases of life within a few weeks. Childhood, weddings, sickness, and death. You can also add beginnings of life into this mix, because a close person to us told us they were expecting recently. I'm not sure how public they are making the news, so I won't give details. Mortality is an interesting process we all go through. I thought being an adult was something I achieved by getting married, having a child, and buying a house. However, I now realize that being an adult means dealing with adult problems that don't always have an easy answer or solution. However, through it all, I am comforted by the gospel and by my Savior. I am grateful to know that families are forever, and I am grateful that I have the family that I do.