For our wedding, Stephen and I recorded our love story. We each wrote our version and didn't compare notes until afterwards. We set them out on the tables at our reception in St. George and let people get to know us a little better. I'm so grateful to have this record, written soon after all of these events took place. It's fun to look back on.
Stephen’s Side
1. Before we met
I was born in San Jose, California in
1990 as the second child and first son to Bruce and Teresa Rollins. Shortly
after I was born, we moved to Texas, and then to Idaho a few years after that.
I consider Idaho my home, because I've lived there ever since. Growing up, I
was always very interested in computers, which has led me to pursue a degree in
Computer Science at BYU. My brothers and I loved to play together, whether it
was some made-up game with our toys or a video game as we got older. I learned
piano from my mom, and played trombone in middle school and sang bass in high
school. I've always been very musical. I enjoyed school a lot. I was one of
those odd students who actually liked his math classes. I've also always been
an avid reader of fantasy books. I served a two-year full-time mission for my
church in New Zealand. Prior to my mission, I hardly ever went on dates. When I
got home in early 2012 and started looking at places to live at BYU, I had to
decide between Sparks II Apartments and another nicer, more expensive complex.
I chose to live in Sparks. That's where I met Jane.
2. First date
One Saturday morning, I got a text
from one of my friends. She, knowing the social butterfly that I am, wanted to
give me an opportunity to go on a double date. She and her boyfriend we going
on a hike. I had seen Jane around a bit by then since we hung out with the same
group of friends, but I hadn't gotten to know her very well yet. I gave her a
call, and shortly after that she became my first date at BYU. I noticed several
things about her during this date. First, she was able to have fun hanging out
with me and my friends even though she didn't know either of them at all. She
was easy-going and loved being with people. Second, she loved to listen. Though
we talked about nothing in particular, she was always willing to hear me out no
matter what I felt like rambling about. She, in turn, was very willing to talk
about herself. Overall, it was a pleasant date and I would have been quite
happy going out with her again. We were definitely friends after that first
date, though my work and summer classes started getting busier after that and I
didn't go out with her again that summer. That was in May 2012. Our second date
was 9 months later. She'll probably never let me live that one down!
3. When I knew I liked
her (2nd date and on)
This year, I made a New Year's
resolution to go on a date every month. I missed January, but for Valentine's
Day I invited Jane to a get-together "just as friends". We had fun,
and even though it had been 9 months since our last date, I felt like I wanted
to try again to go out with her. Ever the go-getter, I didn't ask her out again
until later in February when a church date activity came around. When I asked
Jane to the date night, she asked me out to see a play at the same time! Until
that time, I hadn't realized she was interested in me as well.
Slowly, our weekly dates turned into
hanging out. I loved how Jane respected that I was an introvert and liked to
have my time to get things done. She would help me come up with ideas for
things we could do together a few times a week. Going on walks was a popular
one. We would walk to a frozen yogurt shop and just ask each other questions. I
noticed quickly how selfless Jane was. She just wanted to know me better. She
was willing to invest time to get to know the things I cared about and make
them important to her as well. She made me feel very valued. For all this, she never showed any qualities
that I didn't like.
4. Becoming Official
I don't remember exactly how Jane and
I decided we were officially a “thing”. She probably remembers much better than
I do. I feel like it happened in two parts within about a week of each other.
We went to get frozen yogurt one night and took an especially long walk
afterwards. We continued our usual practice of exchanging questions, but near
the end, the questions turned from questions about us individually to questions
about /us/. It was clear we both liked where things were going. We both decided
we wanted to keep dating.
At this point, I thought we were
officially boyfriend and girlfriend. But we hadn’t actually used those words,
so I wasn't certain. We talked about it again a few nights later. In fact, I
think it might have been Jane who brought it up. She asked me if we could
officially call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Of course I said yes! I'll
always remember the date: April 1st. We didn't post it on Facebook until the
next day, because no one would have believed us if we became “Facebook
Official” on April Fool's Day.
5. First Kiss
I’ve never been one to just go around
and kiss girls simply because I think they’re cute. I consider a first kiss a
big deal. That being said, as April drew on, I felt like Jane and I were
serious enough to kiss her. I didn’t communicate that very well. Jane knew how
much a kiss would mean to me, so even though she really wanted to kiss me, she
was waiting until I was ready for it. It took a few weeks before she caught my
hints that I was finally ready.
It was after one of our
dates-that-was-really-a-walk-to-and-from-the-frozen-yogurt-place. Somehow we
started talking about kissing. I told Jane I had been willing for a couple
weeks to finally kiss her. She of course reacted by saying that, had she known
that, she would have kissed me weeks ago! We settled on a deal. Since it was
the first time I had ever kissed a girl, we decided that whoever initiated the
kiss would be decided by a game of pool. I won handsomely. I was okay with that,
because I was excited but a bit nervous for my first kiss.
6. Bringing Up Marriage
The potential for marrying Jane was
always there. I wouldn’t have started dating her if I didn’t think it could
possibly end in marriage. But she was going to do EFY and then take a
semester’s internship in Washington D.C., so, while the possibility was there,
it was never a huge consideration. Still, I definitely thought that it might
happen. We had already talked about me waiting for her until after D.C. so we
could pick things back up again.
Toward the end of May, we took a
weekend trip up to Idaho to visit my family. It went really well. The trip was
meant to be just me introducing Jane to my parents, but at the end of it the
topic of marriage came up. It wasn’t too surprising to learn that we both were
considering getting married. Jane brought it up first, and prefaced her words
with something along the lines of “Now, don’t freak out, but…”. I don’t think
she realized I was thinking about it as well. On the drive home, we talked
about it more. D.C. was an issue, but Jane said she would stay if I gave her a
reason to. So, I asked her to stay. I didn’t want to promise I would marry her
yet, but we kept talking about it over the next several days and it started to
become more and more of a sure thing. First we talked about November - not too
close, and not in December to get in the way of Jane’s birthday and Christmas.
However, it didn’t feel quite right. Finally, we settled on August - a
possibility we hadn’t even considered at first.
7. Proposing
Jane knew it was coming. We had
already decided on a date and booked the temple. I knew I wanted to propose to
her with a necklace I had bought on my mission, and we had a temporary ring for
her to wear for everyone else to see. When she gave me the ring, I put it in my
pocket and informed her that she was no longer safe: it could come out at any
time. But first, I had to get her parent’s permission. Thus it was that we
drove down to St. George the second weekend of June. That Saturday, the 8th, I
stepped onto the back patio with Jane’s dad under the pretense of seeing his
power tools. I asked him if I could marry Jane, and he said yes. Later, I told
Jane that I hadn’t been able to ask because her dad had talked too much and I
hadn’t been able to get the question in. In my defense, that wasn’t too far
from the truth!
I told Jane I wanted to see more of
St. George. I kept asking her to show me a park, and we ended up in a rocky
canyon outdoor theater called Tuacahn. It was then that I confessed to Jane
that I had gotten her dad’s permission. I pulled out the ring, got down on one
knee, and asked her to marry me. She said she would be honored. I had wanted to
make sure I surprised her. She assured me that I succeeded!
8. Why do I want to
marry her/What do I love about her
I love being
asked what my favorite thing about Jane is. I always say that it’s her caring
nature. Anyone who knows her would agree with me. She makes people feel happy
and appreciated. She listens. She makes me feel valued. She validates my
feelings and puts up with my quirks. She is nothing if not sincere. She lets me
be me. She puts my feelings and needs above her own. She loves me so much and
cares deeply about finding ways to show me that love. She has a strong faith in
God. She makes me a better person. She is wonderful with kids of all ages. She
works hard. She is willing to communicate her needs and feelings. Simply put,
when I first started dating her, I saw no qualities in her that I wouldn’t want
in a future wife. This far into our relationship, she still has never showed me
anything that makes me not love her.
Jane’s Side
1. Before we met
I was born on
December 2nd, 1991 to Richard and Rosanne Hutchins in Orem, UT. I am
the second child of nine and the oldest daughter. When I was three, we moved to
St. George. I loved riding my bike, playing pretend with my friends, and
writing. In high school, I was involved in theater—I was the stage manager for
my school for two years, and I acted in a few shows too. I received the Sterling
Scholar award for English, where my hobby of writing proved beneficial. I began
attending BYU in the fall of 2010, and I will graduate next April. Everyone
thought I would study English in college, but with my vast interests, I
discovered American Studies suited me best (with a minor in English). During
the past two summers, I have worked as an Especially For Youth counselor. I
have loved teaching the youth and consider EFY my “mission.” As a college
student, I love cooking new recipes, watching American Idol, and socializing
with friends. It was during my attempts to make as many friends as I could that
I met Stephen Rollins.
2. First date
It had been a
while since I had a date when Stephen asked me out. I was looking forward to a
nice date with a nice guy. My roommates and I spent a while deciding what
outfit to wear, as I was nervous. He probably didn’t even notice. We went
hiking at Stuart Falls with another couple. I really enjoyed getting to know
Stephen. He would reminisce with the girl in the other couple about their
mission (they served together in New Zealand). The four of us played games as
we walked, and I remember Stephen somehow wound up singing a song about peanut
butter and jelly—I appreciated his open and sincere attitude. From the beginning,
I felt like I knew the real Stephen, and I never worried about him lying to
impress me. We got along really well, too. As I learned more and more about him
over the course of the hike and picnic lunch, I really began to like him. By
the time we got home, I had a full-blown crush on him. I subtly extended the
date by hanging out at his apartment that night. When I came home at midnight,
I squealed with my roommates and gushed about how great my day was and how
amazing Stephen was. I tried being friendlier with him that summer, but he
always seemed too busy, or had too much homework, or was too tired, and I took
that as a hint that he wasn’t interested in me, and I moved on.
3. When I knew I liked him
(2nd date and on)
I made a goal
at New Years to go on at least one date a month, even if that meant I had to
ask out the guy. February, Stephen inadvertently helped me accomplish this goal
by asking me out for Valentine’s Day. It had been nine months since our first
date, and I figured he just asked me as friends because he needed someone to go
with for a group date. We made and decorated cookies, played games, and had a
lot of fun. I noticed during the second half of February he texted me more, and
would hang out in our friend group more, and was just generally friendlier than
before. When March rolled around, I knew I needed to go on a date, and I bought
two tickets to see Cyrano de Bergerac. At the same time, our ward announced a
date night. After ward prayer one night, as people were socializing, I knew I
wanted to ask someone out for the play. When I saw Stephen, I decided I wanted
to go with him. He came over to me and said, “Can I ask you something?” to
which I said, “Only if I can ask you something.” We then proceeded to ask each
other out, me inviting him to the play and him inviting me to the ward date
night. It was then that I realized “I think we like each other.”
4. Becoming official
After going on
several dates in only a matter of a few weeks, I knew I wanted to officially
date Stephen. We had talked and were on the same page that we were going to go
on more dates, and when he held my hand during a movie, I knew I wanted to
DTR—define the relationship. We went to get frozen yogurt, and on the walk
back, we asked each other questions. Stephen then suggested we do a
“companionship inventory” like he did on his mission. When it was my turn, I
asked him if it was okay if I called him my boyfriend. He said he thought he
already was (please note that I did not ask him to be my boyfriend, rather if it was okay that I called him such). Ironically,
it was April Fools’ Day, so I had to wait until the next day to tell people so
they would believe me.
5. First kiss
I told myself
I would let Stephen kiss me when he was ready, and we dated for several weeks
without any hint he had been thinking about it. I kissed him on the cheek for
the first time in a blanket fort before he left for a week. When he came back,
there were still more weeks without any progress. I was patient—Stephen had
never kissed a girl, and I wanted his first kiss to be when and what he wanted
it to be. A few nights after good talks, when saying goodbye at the doorstep, I
could tell he was thinking about it (finally). We went on a date to the canyon
and talked, and somehow we started talking about the meaning of a kiss and how
he would feel ready to kiss someone—but still nothing.
On May 8th,
we went to the frozen yogurt shop again and talked all the way back. We were
having a good conversation and went to my apartment complex’s clubhouse to
continue talking. Somehow, we started talking about kissing again. I told him
my plan to let him kiss me, but said “If you decide to kiss me, making it a
story worth telling.” He then asked what constituted that, and I said I didn’t
know. We then somehow struck a deal—we would play pool, and the looser would
have to kiss the other person. I also added the stipulation that he would have
to play piano for me, too.
We played
pool. I lost miserably (and not on purpose). After the final score was totaled
(which was really easy considering his obvious victory) I moved close to him,
and could see how nervous he was. I smiled and asked him to play “All Of Me” by
Jon Schmidt. I have never heard him play so poorly. Stephen rushed and fumbled
and I loved him more for it. After he finished, I kissed him.
6. Bringing up marriage
Stephen and I first started talking
about marriage during our trip to Idaho over Memorial Weekend. Initially, I was
going to go on an internship to Washington DC for fall semester. We were
discussing what we would be doing during that time, and I told him he would
have to give me a reason to stay—he didn’t have to agree to marriage, but I
couldn’t cancel my internship for him to only break up with me a week later or
something. We stayed up late talking Sunday night, and then continued our
discussion during our six-hour car ride. In Twin Falls, we took a break at a
scenic overlook and Stephen told me he wanted me to stay. I was so happy. We
talked and celebrated all the way home.
The next few
weeks, we talked more and more. We tossed around the idea of getting married in
November or December, but there were multiple reasons those times wouldn’t
work. I then realized we hadn’t discussed August. We realized it would be soon,
but felt it was right. We both fasted and prayed and talked a lot, and the more
we did, the more I knew I wanted to marry Stephen. We hosted a bonfire, but we
spent most of the time talking quietly amongst ourselves, deciding to get
married at the end of summer. When we were alone, I made him say “Jane I want
to marry you” which caused much rejoicing on my end.
7. Proposing
Stephen wanted
to surprise me, even though I knew he was going to propose soon. He had
explained to me his jade necklace he got in New Zealand—the design represents
two lives coming together for eternity, and in Maori culture, it is bad luck to
buy a necklace like that for oneself, so he bought it with the intent of
proposing to his future wife with it. We also got a temporary ring so others
would know I would be engaged, but to me, the necklace is a symbol of his love.
In order to surprise me, Stephen said he would keep the ring and necklace in
his pocket and propose at any time. I told him he would have to ask my dad
first. Conveniently, we had already planned a trip to St. George that weekend
so he could meet my family.
June 8th,
Stephen talked to my dad without me knowing. He said he wanted to go look at
St. George, so I took him out to Tuacahn and showed him the red rocks. We sat
on a bench and started talking. He asked me if it was important if he got on
one knee or not. I told him it was very important. Stephen jokingly said not to
propose in the car then. I told him I might crash if he did. We talked for
another ten minutes or so on how he would propose. I was convinced he would ask
me in Provo canyon because of several special moments we had there. As we
talked, Stephen confessed to me that he had talked to my dad and gained
permission. I freaked out, but still had no idea what was coming. He then said
“Jane, I love you” and kissed me. While he was kissing me, he reached into his
pocket, and only then did I realize what he was doing. Stephen knelt on one
knee in front of the bench and asked me to marry him. I said “I would be
honored” which is what my mom said to my dad. We took pictures and celebrated
and told my family when we got home. From then on, it has truly been an honor
to be at his side, and I look forward to eternity with him.
8. Why I want to marry
him/What I love about him
When we were
seriously dating, Stephen asked to see a list of qualities I wanted in my
future spouse (he assumed correctly that I had such a list—I blame Young
Women’s activities). As I shared with him my desires, I realized he had every
quality I listed. But that didn’t come as a surprise to me. Before we were
formally dating, I felt like I could and wanted to marry Stephen. I kept that
information to myself for a while, but as time went on, the more my hope
solidified into a potential reality. I could be myself around him. He made me
laugh when I didn’t think it was possible, and he knew to just hold me when I
cried. Stephen counseled with me and supported my decisions. He encouraged me
to be my best self and go out of my comfort zone. I loved how kind he was to everyone
he met. He was smart, hardworking, and goal oriented. I loved his smile and
laugh. I knew early on I wanted to spend the rest of my life causing that smile
and listening to that laugh. Stephen became my best friend, my happiness, and
my love.
