Blessed by Family

Before I recap how great this past weekend was, I want to record some milestones for Paige. She is growing up and becoming stronger. On St. Patrick's Day, she pinched me for the first time, even though I was wearing green. She's found my hair and loves to tug on it when she's mad. Last night, I put her on her tummy on the floor while she was happy, and through her wiggling, she scooted herself around and within ten minutes, had her head where her feet began. I'm predicting that she'll be an early crawler at this rate. She's also started smiling and laughing on purpose. I thought she was smiling on St. Patrick's day and tried to get it on camera, but she wasn't cooperating. Stephen and I recorded her being happy last night, so I'll make yesterday the official milestone of her first smile and laugh. 

She also slept eight hours in a row last week and only woke up because we had to go to church. Paige slept at least six hours in a row for the majority of the nights this past week, which I know is spoiling me. I have no idea why, but something I must be doing works. She is still a night owl though, and loves to not start sleeping until after midnight, sometimes even two in the morning, but makes up for it by sleeping in. She's like me, I suppose, so I can't blame her.

So this week was eventful for us. On Wednesday, I had my last midwife appointment. It was bittersweet. I've been seeing them for so long, it's odd to think I won't go back. But I guess I got what I went to them for. We weighed her there with her clothes on and she came in at 10 lbs 9 oz. That's three pounds more than her birth weight. She definitely is chunkier, but it just makes her cuter. It's also reassuring to know both she and I are healthy and fine.

She was sleepy that day. Before the appointment, while we were getting ready, she was tired and cranky. I knew the drive would put her to sleep, so I put her in her car seat while I fixed my hair and finished getting ready. She had been crying pretty strongly, but started to calm herself once she was in her seat. It was the cutest thing. She would give little whimpers or quick gasps of air like she was trying to stop crying and be strong. She put herself to sleep before we even got to the car. My little trooper.

Thursday night, we had a Relief Society dinner. I took Paige with me and she did really well. I love it when she sleeps while I eat so I can enjoy my dinner. Otherwise, I eat with one hand or I listen to her cry at me. She did wake up an need to eat, so I stepped out for a bit, but otherwise, she behaved just fine. A lot of people commented on how alert she was. Paige is also really good at holding her head up, and she gets a lot of remarks over that too. Each time I successfully go out with her gives me more confidence.

Thursday night to Friday morning, Paige deviated from her predictability and kept me up until four in the morning to remind me that she's still a baby and that I should be more grateful for her good sleeping habits. But that didn't stop us from having a good day. I cleaned my house and prepped for company to come over. My sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and niece stayed with us this weekend. It's nice that we have the space for company to come over, which we really didn't have in Provo. They got here in the afternoon and we had dinner together once Stephen got home. 

After that, the girls went to a baby shower for Paige hosted by Stephen's aunt. Many of the women in Stephen's family were there--his mom, grandma, cousins, cousin's children, and aunts. It was a lot of fun to see everyone. We made headbands for Paige, and they all turned out really cute. She's been wearing some of them since and they really complete her outfits. It was fun to have a girl's night. We then hung out with Stephen's siblings and parents for a bit before heading back to our house to meet up with my family.

My mom came when we had Paige, but the rest of my family met her that night. It was fun to watch my siblings interact with Paige. I hadn't realized how unfamiliar they were with babies. Sarah was very timid to hold her, but warmed up with time. They didn't stay long that night, but Saturday, they came back over for a while. Everyone took turns holding Paige. When it came time to change her diaper, Sarah and Becca wanted to learn how to do it because they had never changed a diaper before, which is drastically different than my childhood. Joseph, Michael, and David were grossed out by it and gagged the whole time. The second diaper change, Sarah wanted to do it, so my mom walked her through the steps. The whole time, Sarah kept getting nervous and exclaiming "I can't do it," but she did a good job. It was really fun for me to spend so much time with my family and share Paige with them. 

Saturday evening, we gathered with Stephen's side of the family at the Joseph Smith Building across from the temple to celebrate his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. I was nervous about how well Paige would do, but she slept almost the whole time. She cried during the family pictures (of course) but I was able to put her in my baby wrap and she slept while I ate dinner. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren sang Families Can Be Together Forever. They also showed a video of Grandma and Grandpa talking about how they met and fell in love. It was so cute. The family then presented a quilt to the grandparents that was full of different memories. It was a special event. Afterwards, spent more time with Stephen's family playing games for the rest of the night.

Sunday morning, I got up early to make sure I had enough time to get everything ready for Paige's blessing day. I had to wake her up again, and it was so precious to watch her try to keep sleeping as I got her ready. Sorry, baby! It was also fun for me to put her in her dress. My mom made her blessing dress out of the same fabric as my wedding dress and used the same embroidery design too. It was so beautiful. 

Most of our family and friends were waiting for us at the church when we arrived. It was so great to see so many people supporting us. Paige did really well during her blessing--she was awake and alert and seemed to listen to what Stephen said. He blessed her to be a blessing to those around her, allowing others to feel her sweet spirit. It was when he blessed her to someday meet a man worthy of her and marry her in the temple that I cried. Stephen is so great. We took pictures after sacrament meeting.

After the block of meetings, we had a potluck luncheon. There was plenty of food, which I was worried about. I cooked like, 70 hot dogs in a crock pot. There was about thirty five people there according to Stephen's head count. It's hard bouncing back and forth between our families over the weekend, so it was nice to have everyone together so we didn't have to choose. It was sad to say goodbye to them all after such a great time, though. Once all our visitors were on the road, we took a family nap.

Overall, it was great to have so much going on because I had been looking forward to it for weeks, and while I was worried about Paige handling it all, she couldn't have been better. I'm really grateful for our families and for all the love we felt. Thank you to all who support us from near and far, in person and in thought. We are truly blessed.

One Month Old

Paige is one month old today. Has it really been a month? She's grown up so much in the past four weeks. I feel like she looks older when I compare her to the newborn pictures. (Is she still a newborn? When does that term no longer apply?) She has a lot of Stephen in her, but I have a hard time recognizing how she looks like me, so I'm not the best to ask. So far, I'm still able to fit her into all of her clothes, even the newborn-sized ones, but she's also growing into larger clothes. Some outfits that are technically 3-6 months fit her now, but there are also other 3-6 month clothes that I wonder if she'll ever fit into because they look so big against her.

Paige loves to be held as much as possible. She will be content to lay on her own sometimes, but tires of that quickly. For the most part, she has a predictable routine of eat-play-sleep. She'll eat for 15 to 20 minutes, then be content and happy for a half hour or so. Suddenly, the switch flips and she's tired, but doesn't know how to put herself to sleep. She'll get really fussy, but if I can convince her to relax for just long enough, she'll sleep. There's no way of knowing how long she'll sleep for--could be five minutes, could be hours, but I try to shoot for a half hour. We then repeat the process, though she always likes to throw me off just when I think I know she's going to do something. For instance, she just fell asleep after eating, so I'm typing this with her sleeping on me.

For as much as she might not nap during the day, she does sleep well at night. For the most part, she'll give me long stretches of sleep at night, from at least four hours, to the max record of seven hours in the row (that was last night, and it was wonderful). There are nights where she doesn't want to go back to sleep after she wakes to eat, and those are the harder nights. Stephen will often take that shift and stay up with her as needed. We're working on having a reasonable bed time, though. She likes to wait to start her night until midnight or so. But for being a newborn, Stephen and I have been getting a lot of sleep.

Paige isn't old enough yet to smile or laugh consciously, but she will often grin and giggle in her sleep. It's the cutest thing ever. She likes to play "super baby" and be held up in the air over my head. She then flies around and saves the day. Her favorite song is Geronimo by Sheppard--it will calm her down when she's crying and if I bounce her along with the beat, she'll often be asleep by the end of the song. I also sing primary songs to her, and she seems to like A Child's Prayer best. She likes to see what is going on, even though not much happens with just her and me hanging out at home. Still, she likes to face outwards and look around. She especially likes to look out the windows. 

We both enjoy our baby wrap. She will fall asleep really quickly when she's in it, which works for me, except I then have to keep her on me while she naps. This limits what I can do, but because I have my hands free, I still can get a lot done and she'll sleep longer. It also normally works best if she also has her pacifier (we had to try a different shape, but she'll now take a pacifier where she wouldn't initially). We'll often go on walks with her in my wrap, and the young neighborhood girls love to look at her if they're outside playing when we walk past. 

Paige doesn't like when we wipe her during a diaper change, She also isn't a fan of baths. She isn't sure if she likes her swing or not--often we use it to help her fall asleep, so she cries in it, but then will sleep well once she relaxes. She doesn't like the doctor's office because they keep moving her or poking her heel. Paige is alright riding in the car as long as she just ate recently--if she's hungry, she let's me know from the back seat, though the freeway will often put her to sleep too. She really doesn't like not eating when she thinks she's hungry. I do my best to not feed her for at least an hour between sessions, and for the most part, she's accepted that, but we have our rough spots.

I like playing dress up with her. She is so cute, and cute clothes add to her cuteness. Stephen likes to watch her grow, he says. She really has changed our lives, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been doing a lot better emotionally. Having some sort of routine helps me a lot, even if it's still really loose and flexible. I've also figured out her cries more--I think before I was feeding her when she was actually just tired, which would keep awake and make her overfed, leading to the vomiting. We're still getting better at nursing--it's harder on me than it is on her, but it's a lot better than it was the first two weeks.

We've also been working on getting out of the house and going places. Earlier this week, Paige and I went to a La Leche League meeting. That was a big support boost for me. Sometimes, I just need the reminder that I'm doing a good job, and the women in the meeting were very friendly and encouraging. I hope to go often to the monthly meetings. We also had our first trip to the store last week. I took longer than I had hoped and she woke up wanting to eat just as I stated grocery shopping. I did my best to keep her calm and shop quickly, but I learned my lesson to feed her first. 

The next time I went shopping, I left her home with Stephen, but it was hard for me to shop without worrying about them. I called home in the middle of my outing just to check in because I was too concerned. Yesterday, she and I tried going shopping again, and that trip was much better. She slept most of the time. We also went to church for the first time, and because I was willing to hold her through the meetings, she slept in my arms pretty contentedly. I enjoyed all the gawking over her (it was deserved, let's be honest). 

I would report about our lives outside of Paige, but there's not much besides that. 95% of my time is devoted to her, and the other five is saved for things like eating or showering. Stephen goes to work each day, but he checks in to make sure we are doing alright. He's worked from home some just to help me out on harder days or busy days. I'm glad he has that option. Stephen's also been biking to work so that I have access to the car, and that's been helpful.

I have learned so much about her and myself over this past month, but I think I've learned the most about Heavenly Father. I feel like I understand how He feels about us and how hard He really is trying to take care of us. There are times when I'm trying to help Paige and I feel like I'm doing all I can to meet her needs. For instance, when I know she's tired and I'm holding her and bouncing her and shushing her and she has her pacifier but is too busy crying to notice all my efforts and let them help her, I can imagine Heavenly Father doing the same with us. We are too upset sometimes at Him to notice all the help He's already giving us. We cry and complain at Him when He's doing all He can to help us recognize the answer and solution is right in front of us if we would just calm down and listen. I feel like there's a scripture or quote that talks about how we have the understanding of babies, but I wasn't able to find it. If you can, I'll give you a gold star. 

I've also come to realize that I've reached one of the last major milestones in my life for a while. I'm so use to having deadlines, due dates, and changes, it's weird to realize this is how life is going to be for the next foreseeable future. Stephen goes to work. I take care of Paige. Paige grows up. This is what we're going to do for years. Yes, we'll add more kids to the family, but my role won't change. With my life being different every semester for so long, it's strange to think things won't change every four months. I'm fine with life being like this, I'm just not use to it. It's like I'm an adult. Weird.

The past month has been full of a lot of ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it away. I really feel like this is my purpose, and I'm so personally fulfilled by it. It also takes all I have and can be very draining. But she gives me a reason to get out of bed each morning (and every few hours through the night). I love watching Stephen be a dad, and the times when Paige is happy and the three of us are playing together on the floor, I feel so much love. We're a real family now, and while it still seems surreal, I love being a mom to Paige. She and Stephen are the best things that have ever happened to me. One month down, eternity to go!