Recap of my kneecap

I know, I know, It's been half a month since I've written. I wish I could tell you we were off doing exciting things and were too enthralled in adventure to write. But honestly, I didn't write because I didn't have anything new to say. Stephen and I have found a good routine for our lives and we comfortably go about normal day-to-day activities. There have finally been enough happenings that I feel justified in writing a post, though, so yay you.

First off, I got a new calling! I'm now the Relief Society Weekday Meetings Leader. Or something like that. Basically, I'm in charge of the activities formally known as Enrichment. I'm very excited for this calling. I grew up planning parties and I enjoy being in charge in order to move plans forward and get things done. In fact, I've already started organizing the first activity. We're going to have a ward swap meet. I've been wanting to do this for a while, and I tried to get things going before, but it was hard to coordinate. But now that I'm in charge, I can take on the responsibility of putting it together. It's in less than two weeks, so there's plenty to do between now and then, but I have a committee to help me, and it's really not too hard to prepare for. I'm mostly just excited. I look forward to organizing more activities in the future.

There are 38 more days until I graduate. That's less than six weeks! But there's a lot packed into those few weeks. However, I've been able to get a lot of things done this past week. Two and a half of my four major papers are already done or at least have a solid draft. It's nice to get things done in advance--I don't know why I waited until my last semester to get my academic act together and be on top of things. Not that I was a bad student before; I just lost a lot of sleep the nights before assignments were due.

Speaking of losing sleep, I don't know what's been wrong with me and sleeping lately, but I've completely thrown off my body's sleeping schedule. I was having trouble falling asleep, and thus spent the majority of the night awake. I use that time to do my extra homework, but the hours between midnight and seven are scheduled for my sleeping time, not for homework. I would be awake for several hours at a time with very little sleep. I would maybe take a quick nap, but besides that, I was awake for days. In order to make up for it, my body decided three times last week that it needed to sleep for 12 hours at a time. I missed some classes one day because I was far too tired to function, even though I had slept a lot. But considering the lack of sleep the other nights, I guess it balances out. Stephen gave me a priesthood blessing last night, and I slept very well. Hopefully I can get my body back into a normal sleeping pattern.

So story time. Anyone who knows me well enough will know I am not a graceful person. I've lost track of how many times I've had to use crutches in my life. I've been hit by a car twice. I sprained both of my ankles at the same time once (yes, I'm THAT talented). So don't be surprised when I say I tripped down the stairs last week. I was going to get the laundry, but tripped on my shoe and tumbled down the concrete stairs. Luckily, I only rolled one ankle and got a rug burn/scratch on my knee and a bruise on my leg. It could have been much, much worse. There wasn't even blood.

I climbed back upstairs where Stephen rescued me and took care of me for the rest of the night. I went into shock a bit and sobbed for a while, even though I wasn't really in pain. He just held me and got me ice packs and sang to me until I calmed down. He's the best husband ever. My ankle healed after a few days, and my knee has a scab and the yellow remnants of a bruise, but I'm fine. Stuff like that happens in life--especially in my life--and it helps to remind me to be grateful for the functioning, healthy body I have.

So once, I posted on facebook the idea to do a Q&A blog post. But I only got two questions. So I'll wait to answer those and ask for more. Send me a message with a question and I'll make a blog post about it! For now, I have to go to class, so I'll wrap this up. Life is good. We are happy. Trials happen and we handle them. We love each other. Gospel is true. Amen!

Young, Wild, and Free

Sometimes my husband and I agree to take the night off. Tonight is one of those nights. We ordered pizza, pulled out the carton of ice cream, and watched Avatar and League of Legends. We're probably going to stay up too late and not clean up after ourselves. Irresponsible? Yes. Fun? Very. While we do have obligations and responsibilities, our lives will only get more pressured from here. While we're procrastinating homework and unloading the dishwasher, it's a lot easier to take a night off from life now than it will be in five or ten years from now. So junk food it is!

This week, I had six classes canceled. For anyone who doesn't know how college works, having that many classes canceled in one week is unheard of. Professors being sick, out of town, or just wanting to not teach gave me a lot more time than I normally have this week. I took the chance to sleep in when I could because I've been having trouble falling asleep lately. I got a lot of my homework done, cooked some yummy meals, designed my future house, and listened to an audio book (Son by Lois Lowry--very good). But I still had too much time on my hands. It's weird to be bored. I can only refresh pinterest and facebook so many times and keep my sanity.

This week helped me to realize I need a new hobby. I got a lot of great suggestions from facebook. Thank you to all who gave me ideas. I've decided to be brave and attempt something I have very little skill for--sewing. My mom, Grandma, and sisters are all great at sewing. I, however, spend more time at a sewing machine undoing stitches than I do making them. I'm pretty sure trying to sew a sleeve in middle school caused me trauma. But I want to be good at sewing, and now, I might have enough emotional stability to handle needle and thread without my need for perfection getting in the way.

Anyway, I decided that I'm going to plunge in head first and attempt a project that's probably out of my league. I'm going to sew a stocking. I learned this past Christmas that Stephen's family and my family have the same kind of stockings. Bucilla has these adorable felt stockings with several patterns and designs. Out of my family's nine children and Stephen's eight, not one of the stockings are the same. Without any coordination, this is as improbable as having six classes canceled in one week. Because it is a tradition on both sides, I want to make Bucilla stockings for my future family, and with my skills in sewing, starting now is not a bad idea. I found a pattern that neither sides of the family have used yet (miracle, I tell you) and I'm going to order it and attempt to carry on a family tradition.

In other news, I got my hair cut today. I hadn't cut it since before I got married (btw, happy six months to us this past week) and I wanted to get rid of my dead ends. I only cut like, two inches off, so no one freak out. I still have ridiculously long, thick hair. I did do something different by not getting layers in order to make my hair styles easier. So we'll see how that goes. I will donate my hair someday, but not yet--it's too much fun still.

I got my hair cut for free because of our coupon booklet, so that's always a perk. I tried out a new place, Aveda hair school, and loved it! I've gone to many different hair schools for cheap cuts, but this was the best one I've been to. They gave me a scalp and shoulder massage with essential oils, massaged my head again with a wash, cut my hair quickly, and even styled my hair by giving me some really beautiful loose curls. It also took less than an hour, and for a hair school, that's impressive. I will definitely go back (especially because I have two more free cut coupons). Without the coupon, the package would have been ten dollars. I would pay ten dollars just to have her massage my head again. Ah, so good.

Speaking of massages, Stephen has been giving me a lot of massages lately. What a champ. I did something to my back the other day and now it is full of knots and tension. Every few hours when we have time, Stephen will try to massage away my pain, though it often feels like he's just creating more. It's the good kind of pain, don't worry, and I know it helps, but I think he doesn't know his own strength sometimes. For being a computer science nerd, he's got some strong muscles.

Yeah, I can't write a post without gushing about him. Deal with it.

So, Stephen got his tax return, and we decided to be responsible with the money...well, most of it. We're taking this chance to set aside some money that doesn't come out of our monthly budget to buy things that will take long to budget for. For instance, we got a new TV. Unnecessary, sure, but Stephen really wanted a TV that wasn't from the 90's, so we searched on craigslist and found a nice one for cheap. We bought it from a poorer family who is trying to get enough money to send the dad to school, so we felt good about giving them the money rather than Wal-Mart. We're also putting money aside for a new laptop for me. Mine is physically falling apart, though I love it dearly. I'm going to use it until I can't, and then we'll get me a new one with some of the tax return money. We added money to other saving funds like paying off the car loan, buying furniture, and stocking a 72-hour kit for me, so not all of the check is being spent recklessly.

Now, don't worry about our careless habits. This note is especially to our moms. We promise we're behaving like good students and citizens. We wash behind our ears and brush our teeth twice a day and everything. But nights off, slow weeks, and extra money brings out the side of us that makes us question if we should really consider ourselves adults. I think we're just two crazy kids in love, and you know what? I'm not complaining.

Valentine's Weekend

I love my husband, in case you haven’t noticed yet. Valentine's last year, Stephen asked me out on a group date. It had been nine months since our previous date, and I figured his friends had roped him into an activity and he needed a girl to go with him. We were friends, but I had ruled him out thinking that's all we would ever be. He had apparently been trying to be more than friends, but was slow at his approach. He would try to sit by me when he could at ward activities or strike up conversations with me or come over to hang out with our group of friends more. I wasn't suspicious. In fact, I didn't notice. Our date was fun. We went to his mission friend's apartment and decorated cookies. He taught me how to play monopoly deal, though we didn't end up playing it. I had no idea I would spend the rest of my life being taught new games by him, this being the first of many, many games (anyone who spends time with the Rollins family knows how much they like games). We listened to music and talked and had an overall nice night. I went home happy but clueless as to what was ahead for us. 

Last Friday, we celebrated our second Valentine’s Day together. We had plans to go to his family’s cabin, but decided against it due to the weather. Instead, we went out to eat and had sushi. I love sushi, but Stephen isn’t use to it yet. Still, Stephen’s not a picky eater at all, so he doesn’t complain. We got sushi once before on our honeymoon, so it’s kind of our special occasion food. The wait was long and the restaurant was super busy, but I didn’t mind. We spent most of our wait deciding which rolls to get. Neither of us are connoisseurs on sushi rolls, so if you have any recommendations, please share. The names seem so arbitrary. But we ended up splitting four yummy rolls.

While we were eating, a woman wandered around the tables with a basket full of roses, offering to sell them to the couples. Both Stephen and I admired her entrepreneurship, and he bought me a rose. We went home and ate some cream-filled chocolate-covered strawberries I had made. It was nice to have an evening with my husband where neither of us was stressed over chores or homework or other obligations. We started watching some episodes of Avatar (one of my favorite childhood series we’ve been rewatching together) and ended up staying up way too late to finish the season. Neither of us regretted it once we had slept in Saturday morning.

We took Saturday easy. Stephen was able to play a lot of online games with friends and we both cleaned the house for a few hours. I finally scrubbed down my fridge, something I've been meaning to do for a while, and it looks a lot better. I still need to make time to do the freezer--by the time I was finished with the fridge, I was burned out. Saturday night, I babysat for my neighbor, though the baby was asleep the whole time, so I got some homework done. Not as fun, but still good.

I was stressed for time on Sunday morning because my hair wasn't cooperating, so Stephen made me breakfast. We commented that it was probably the first time he had made me something for breakfast. I was proud of his scrambled eggs! Good job, sweetheart! That afternoon, I invited my brother over for a dinner of homemade egg rolls (I even made the wrapper from scratch!). So Mom, don't worry, I fed him and gave him water and took him for a walk afterwards. He and I use to live in the the same apartment complex, but now that we're a few blocks away, I hardly ever see him. It was nice to have him over for dinner and to chat with him. 

Monday was the day Stephen did his homework. He spent most of the day programming and studying. I'm surprised at his workload when mine is so small. Last semester was much harder for me than this semester is. I was able to go shopping and play games and watch the Olympics. Aren't the Olympics amazing? I've been watching them when I can and both Stephen and I are getting into it. It's funny, because neither of us would care for these sports any other time of the year, but when it's the Olympics, suddenly I'm emotionally invested in the athletes. I love watching the ice skating and the freestyle jumping of the snowboarders and skiers.

Going back to reality on Tuesday was hard after a nice weekend with my husband. He's back to being busy. I can't wait until summer! 64 days until I graduate and we're freed from homework--me being freed forever! Stephen has been doing something with his computer that I don't completely understand. He gave me an analogy of his computer being a shoe box and he's putting dividers in the shoe box. He's happy with it, so I guess that's good.

Leading up to Valentine's day, Stephen and I talked about our expectations. I asked him to write me a note, which he did. He said he wanted to surprise me with something, but then was nervous if I would like it or not, so he kept telling me his ideas in order to get my approval, but then that ruined the surprise. It was cute. He talked about writing a blog post, but so far, that hasn't happened. I guess it's still an option, because it is our blog and not just mine. Though if it were up to him to recap everything, it would be an entirely different and shorter blog. Though that may be better than my mundane updates. This blogs is very much like a journal for me with motivation to write. I want to remember this time in our lives, and I'm happy to share it with those that are interested.

As of Late

Last night, at 10:55, Stephen rolled over and said to me, "I think it's going to take me a while to fall asleep. I just can't seem to get comfortable." By 11:05, he was snoring.

He and I have a lot of fun moments in life. There are plenty of time where we look at each other and laugh. He's also really great at holding me and getting me to cry even when I'm too stubborn to let it go. I've become a better listener when he just wants to vent for a bit. I also love when I can do something silly that makes his face crinkle when he smiles. It's really the little things that make our marriage so good for both of us. We're still learning for sure, but I feel like we're getting better at being married. I mean, we've been working at it for over five months now, so we should be pros, right?

I've gotten really good at making bread that Stephen loves. I can almost count on him eating half of the loaf as soon as it's done. I also had a lot of fun last Saturday freezing food. I couldn't sleep, so at 5:30, I went to the Bountiful Basket sight and helped set up the baskets. I then came home with a laundry bin full of fresh produce and decided I still wasn't tired enough to sleep, so I went to work on prepping my food. By the time Stephen woke up, I blanched and froze broccoli and asparagus, chopped and froze bell peppers, and cut potatoes and made hash browns from them. That morning, I also made a smoothie base by blending fruits and celery and froze that too, so I can add it to smoothies later (I needed stronger fruits to overpower the celery taste). During all this, I listed to Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks. It's been a while since I've listened to a mushy love story besides my own (awww). I felt so much like my mother, cooking and cleaning the kitchen while listening to an audiobook. Growing up, I would sit in the kitchen and listen to my mom's stories while she worked. Only now looking back do I realize I should have been helping her while listing to the stories. Sorry, Mom. 

One of my new years resolutions is to do my hair more. I had gotten really good at letting it air dry in an awkward angle and hiding it in a ponytail. I decided that I should either cut my hair or actually do things with it. So I've been practicing new braids, buns, and bobby pin tricks. I have A LOT of thick, blond hair. My whole life, anytime I've gotten a hair cut, the beautician has commented on how thick my hair is. My mom can curl her hair in four curlers. I use to use all the curlers just for one side of my head, and then wait for them to set before doing the other side. I got some more curlers for Christmas, and if I strategize well enough, I can make it work now. But I wanted to get better at doing my hair, and so I'm putting my pinterest to use and practicing! I put a picture on Facebook of my most adventurous attempt and I'm proud of the results. I had only ever done a dutch braid on myself the day before, so I was nervous, but it worked!

The job interview I had for being an apartment manager didn't turn out how I wanted it to, and no one else has contacted me. I'm going to now follow up, but it's a little discouraging. I've been brainstorming other ideas and am considering being a nanny for the Summer. From what research I've done, there seems to be enough of a demand that hopefully, I could find a good job that way. It would also be far too much fun for me to play house every day with someone else's children. But I'm not giving up on the management job hunt either. I have faith that something will work out for me.

This week, I went to an optometrist and updated my prescription. I also chose some new glasses, since the frames I wear now are the ones I chose in middle school for my first pair. I'm excited to get them either tomorrow or early next week. I also got new contact lenses and a scolding from the optometrist to not sleep in my contacts. Oops. I'm going to try harder now to take them out before I sleep. My friend, Kim, drove me to the appointments since Stephen had the car for work. I feel bad to impose on people and ask them for a ride, but it was really nice to spend time with Kim and chat. She's in my ward and lives nearby, and has been friendly and helpful to me.

My whole ward has been so nice to me. I gave a lesson in Relief Society a few weeks ago, even thought that's not my calling. I substituted for someone and spoke on a talk about including everyone and making sure people feel welcomed at church. I felt our Relief Society could really benefit from the lesson and was prompted by the Spirit a lot to share important things. Most of my lesson was discussion based, and I'm grateful for the input from the women. I got a lot of positive feedback, and felt successful. Really though, I think a teacher's role in Relief Society is more of a discussion facilitator rather than a lecturer, so I can't take credit for most of what people said and felt. But it has helped the women in the ward to recognize me more by name, and that's something I will take credit for--I tend to be quirky and memorable in front of a crowd like that.

Stephen's been working really hard lately. He had a meeting with his supervisors at work who told him they see potential in him and want to help him learn and grow as a programmer. While he's still considered somewhat as an intern, they intend to offer him a full-time position once he graduates. It's comforting to have that job security. He's also been working at his art skills and has been drawing more lately. I can tell he's improving, and I'm proud of him for it. Stephen also continues to impress me with his help around the apartment. I made it his assignment to check the mail since I want to be in the cold as little as possible. He's dutifully checked the mail immediately after work, but he normally just brings back icicles instead of envelopes. He likes to watch them melt in the sink. I sometimes think I married a five-year-old. He makes me smile.

Well, it's late, and I believe I've rambled enough. Don't bother looking for some overall theme or flow of idea. It doesn't exist. This is a post of things I can come up with besides saying life is normal (which it is). But I'm not complaining. I told Stephen today I feel bad for everyone who's not us, because they just won't ever understand this level of happiness, which is really a shame. Honestly, I'm sorry for you that you're not married to Stephen. It's like the best thing ever, even if he eats the bread far too quickly or leaves icicles in my sink. One day, I'll look back on this blog and roll my eyes at how much I gush about him, but for now, it's just cute.

Chicken Noodle Stew

Somehow, food has become my hobby. Specifically, making food from scratch and freezing food. I have time now to make my own bread, tortillas, pizza, and other baked goods (like the brownies in my oven right now (but I substituted half of the oil for applesauce, so I don't have to feel guilty, right? (I made the applesauce, too))). I've also been doing research on freezing fresh foods. I have berries, onions, and avocados in my freezer, waiting for my whim. I use to have more, but I've been eating it. I'll make large batches of food for dinner and freeze up individual portions for lunches and quick dinners--soup, burritos, and stir fry have been my last few endeavors. I keep telling myself I will make frozen pizzas, but as soon as I start making the pizza, I crave pizza, so I eat it right away rather than saving it. My bad.

It's been really fun for me to play in the kitchen. Between Pinterest, AllRecipes, and my mom on speed dial, I've had some really great meals. Stephen has been happy with my hobby. He says he likes my fresh bread better than the store-bought kind (though I think that's because I use white flour at home and buy 12-grain loafs from the store). I'm happy I married someone who is not a picky eater. When I ask what he wants to eat, usually his comment is either "food" or "something edible." This is helpful when I tell him we're eating Brussels sprouts, artichoke, and winter squash for dinner. (BTW, the artichoke was weird. Would not recommend.) With my food storage and bountiful baskets, I'm given a lot of creativity and potential. Not everything has been successful, and I eyeball a lot of things so it's hard to write a recipe. However! I did pay attention when I made what I called Chicken Noodle Stew. Well, I kind of paid attention. I still always eyeball spices and change it to taste, but I figured it was worth sharing. So here it is! My first official original public recipe!

Chicken Noodle Stew

2 chicken breasts

½ onion

1-2 cloves garlic

1 TBSP butter

½ celery stalk

2 carrots

2 potatoes

~4 cups chicken broth (or water)

1 cup milk

½ bag noodles

thyme, rosemary, salt, pepper, chicken or beef bouillon

Cut chicken into bite-sized pieces. Chop onion and garlic. Sauté chicken, onion, garlic, and butter in pot until onion becomes clear and chicken is cooked thoroughly. Add chopped celery, carrots, and potatoes. Fill pot until food is covered by broth and milk. Add seasonings. Bring to a boil. Once boiling, add noodles and boil for ten minutes. Remove from heat and adjust seasons as desired.

Fun tip! This freezes! I used an idea from Pintrest and froze the soup in a muffin tin for a while. I then transferred them to ziplock bags and put three to four "soup muffins" into each bag. I gave some away tonight to a woman who is pregnant and due next month, so she'll not have to worry about a few meals. 

I think that's my favorite part of my food hobby--sharing it with others. While I love eating what I make, having others enjoy it is where the thrill comes from. Stephen is good at complementing me. Sometimes, he's so good, I worry he's faking it. But when I ask him if he would want me to make it again, he doesn't hesitate--that's my trick into figuring out if he really likes it.

I've been working on perfecting my Mexican Crock Pot meal, and as soon as I get it down to where I can actually record a recipe, I'll share that here too. That meal, I'm more proud of, because it makes a looot of food for really cheap, and it's versatile. Some days, I'll use it in burritos. I've made enchiladas with it too. I love it as a base for a salad. Stephen likes it as a thick dip with tortilla chips. I'm sure I could come up with more ways to eat it. And that's good, because I have two dozen cans of each ingredient as a result of my case lot sale stockpile, so we'll be eating Mexican Crock Pot for a while.

I'm going to keep this post mostly about food because our lives are pretty standard outside of that. I am applying for apartment manager positions again in hopes of working after I graduate. I had a phone interview today for a complex that's really close to campus, nicely modeled, and rents to married couples, so my tenants wouldn't be crazy single people who like to climb onto roofs or rappel out windows or brawl in their kitchen over who does the dishes (at least, I hope not (and yes I've heard of all those scenarios--I witnessed the rappelling myself)). So if you want to keep your fingers crossed for me and maybe say a prayer or two, I would appreciate all positive vibes to get this job.

Well, Stephen wants to go to bed since he has to wake up at six tomorrow for work. The brownies turned out well--Stephen couldn't tell I used applesauce, so it was a success. He's really cute when he's sitting on the chair across from me and works on his computer--especially when he doesn't know I'm looking at him. He's tugging on his ear right now. Or maybe he's checking the hair cut I gave him for FHE tonight. I may or may not have trimmed a little too high around his right ear. If you see him and notice, please don't comment. Stephen also blinks a lot. And he scrunches up his face randomly. And drinks a lot of water. 

Yeah, I love him. 

School, Sleep, and Sweetheart Stephen

School has started. Not only does this mean papers, reading, quizzes and tests, it means a regular schedule, something I'm enjoying. I have a good semester lined up for me. Knock on wood, but I think I like all of my classes. There always seems to be at least one class that I have to just endure, but this semester, I think I'll actually enjoy every one. I'm taking a Western history class that isn't super exciting, but it's also relatively easy. I'm really learning a lot from my Church history course. I love my creative non-fiction writing class and am excited to practice my personal essay skills. For my capstone class, we are studying Hollywood's romantic comedies from the 1930's and 1940's; basically, I watch old movies for credit. My anthropology of American culture is amazing--no tests or quizzes, just class discussions for the whole semester and a final paper. So overall, I'm looking forward to my final semester.

Stephen is taking a lot of computer classes, a family finance class, and Book of Mormon. He has a lot of reading, but I really don't understand most of it. You'll have to ask him more about school.

School is the only new thing in our lives. I was doing really well at keeping the apartment clean until our dishwasher broke (the piles of dishes are waiting for the repair man to come). But I've stayed on top of laundry, so that's a plus. But with my semester as calm as it is, I'm finding I have enough time to keep on top of everything and still relax at points. Believe it or not, I'm actually ahead in my homework! I've decided that since this is my last shot at being a good student, I would put in extra effort to getting things done a head of time. I'm lucky that the workload has been lighter so far, because I'm sure it'll pick up soon.

I tried asking Stephen what I should write about. He said everything. Thanks, honey.

I will tell a bit about the date Stephen took me on just before school started. To preface, he and I have been talking about going to Ikea since we were dating. We thought wandering around looking at the furniture would be fun (and by we I mean me with Stephen humoring me). We talked about doing it several times, but something always came up. Finally, our plans came together well enough and after attending the Jordan River temple, we went to Ikea. There's something fun about shopping in our Sunday best. We wandered around the store, making comments on different decor and designs. I was relieved to find out we have a similar taste in interior design. Also, I was very proud of Stephen for coming up with honest opinions of things. He is really great at shrugging his shoulders when it comes to preferences. This can be really helpful when I simply want him to agree with me, or frustrating when I'm actually trying to get his opinion.

We stayed in the store until it closed and then decided to get some food before driving back to Provo. Stephen took me to Sonic for a burger. To add background to this, a few nights before our date, I had a dream where I ordered a burger but never got my order. I woke up with an overwhelming craving for one that lasted all day, almost to the point where Stephen offered to pick up some fast food on his way home from work. I told him it was silly to not eat the food I had purchased already and made dinner, disregarding my craving. On our date, Stephen was very good about making sure I had my burger. It's the little things that matter, after all. More so, I was impressed he remembered and complied to my dream-craving. Stephen must be practicing for pregnancy-Jane (No, I'm not pregnant, don't get any ideas).

On a less awkwardly-adorable note, I've been struggling sleeping again lately. No spasms this time, but instead, I've been having nightmares. They're always about different things (like not getting the burger I ordered), so it's not like I'm having a reoccurring fear or anything. Sometimes I die. Sometimes Stephen dies. Sometimes Stephen kills me. Car crashes. Family drama. Bad guys chasing me. Bad guys robbing me. Falling off of buildings and cliffs. Wars. A bunch of different things happen. I've basically have had at least one nightmare every night for the past two weeks. Some nights, I'll have three or four, waking up every few hours crying or yelling or panting. I have very vivid dreams, so it takes me a minute after waking up to discern between reality and nightmare. Stephen has been very good at waking up with me and holding me until I can calm down enough to go back to sleep.

This has been causing me to be extremely tired throughout the day. I feel bad for Stephen, who is also loosing sleep. I'm trying all the tips I can find on the internet and avoiding all the potential causes, but nightmares are something that's hard to avoid or fix, especially when it's not being caused by something specific. Yesterday, I was so sleep deprived and emotional, I was scared to fall asleep. Writing it out, I sound a lot like a three-year-old. Stephen gave me a blessing and tried to comfort me as best he could, but he eventually fell asleep. 

I laid awake for a few hours, thinking about everything and nothing. Around 2:00, Stephen woke up and prayed with me again. I finally dozed off around 3:00. But only getting a few hours of sleep has kept me yawning all day today. If anyone has any extra tips on how to avoid nightmares, let me know. I would take sleeping pills, but in the past, when I do and I have a nightmare, I'm stuck in my nightmare and have a hard time waking up out of it and discerning dream and reality. I've sniffed lavender and stretched and wrote my feelings and showered before bed and avoid certain foods and all that jazz. But really, I'm sleeping like a baby lately--waking up every few hours upset. Stephen jokes I'm practicing for parenthood (again--not pregnant). During the day, I'm fine, just tired.

Well, that's probably more of an update than you wanted to know. Our lives aren't very unusual right now, and because of that, they're not very exciting. But I would rather have uneventful than dramatic.

Recap

I know, I know. I've slacked off. Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. In my defense, the semester ended, we spent half of our Christmas break in Idaho, and I've spent all week deep cleaning. In other words--I've been busy. Sometimes I'm so busy living life, it's hard to write about it. But as a quick recap of the past month, life has been good.

School ended! Hurrah! Except we start another semester on Monday. This break has been really nice though. And well timed. I got sick near the end of finals week. I felt bad for being sick at my in-laws house, but they reassured me they would rather have me there and be sick than not come at all. It was helpful that I could just rest and not worry about much when I felt congested. But it passed quickly, and I felt pretty much fine by Christmas.

I posted a poem on Christmas about Christmas, and that also seems to sum up the morning nicely. Stephen and I helped Bruce and Teresa Santa prep on Christmas Eve. It was a special moment to look at the tree with all the presents under it and cuddle with my husband and chat with my in-laws. That moment felt the most like Christmas to me. Though there were plenty of other Christmas-ish moments. I really enjoyed learning about the Rollins traditions. Some of them, I would love to implement in my future family. It was a little sad to be away from my family, but I called them on Christmas day and was able to talk with Deborah too. We also skyped Matthew, and I felt really proud when I surprised him and the rest of the family by introducing myself in Japanese (middle-school anime actually came in handy!).

While in Idaho, we saw Frozen (the music is great and I may or may not have been listening to the soundtrack for hours a day). I also shot a gun for the first time in my life. The adults went shooting and both me and my mother-in-law had never shot a gun before. After watching her first shot and the after effects on her shoulder, I became more hesitant, but used a less-powerful gun instead. I actually hit my target a few times I think (a trashcan in an open field). Bruce than taught me about a handgun and I was able to make two shots with it. My second try, I was within an inch of the bulls-eye. We also played a lot of board games as a family, and by a lot, I mean A LOT! Some games I liked better than others, but mostly, it's fun to have that bonding experience.

Stephen had work this past week, so after coming home from Idaho, I've spent most of my time either cleaning or sleeping. I've taken advantage of the luxury of not having a schedule that requires me to wake up at a certain time. But when I am up, I've been cleaning. I finally organized the bedroom, something that hasn't quite happened since we moved in. My closet looks so much better now, and I ended up donating a huge pile of random things to DI. Stephen has been enjoying his evenings off by drawing and programming. I'm so proud of his efforts, even if I can't fully appreciate all the code he works on.

Stephen has been absolutely wonderful to me this past month. We've shared a lot of personal moments together that have drawn us closer as a couple. We listened to a series of talks on our drive to and from Idaho about marriage. There were a lot of helpful tidbits that we've implemented already. I feel like I understand Stephen better, and he understands me better too. I know we're both going to spend our lives learning more and more about each other. I feel like we have a really good foundation and we are able to work through things together and end up loving each other more because of our differences. He's the best.

Some favorite moments from the past few weeks: Stephen and I were sitting on the couch together. He had taught me a new online game (Kingdom of Loathing) and returned to his programming. After fifteen minutes or so, I had a question about the game and asked him, "What happens when you die?" He, no longer thinking about the game, rolled his eyes and looked at me and said, "You've got to be more specific." I laughed so hard for a while until I finally calmed down enough to explain. I know it doesn't sound nearly as funny now, but it's one of those you-had-to-be-there moments. 

Another special moment was yesterday when I was having a harder day. Stephen came home from work and hugged me for a few minutes. I then went to the kitchen to finish dinner and he started playing music on his phone from our wedding. He held me in the kitchen and started dancing with me. I remember telling him when we were dating that something I wanted in a husband was someone who would dance with me, even if he wasn't good. Stephen has never particularly enjoyed dancing, but he's always willing to dance with me. Yesterday, it was so special. He didn't say anything, just rocked me side to side as the gravy simmered. I'm so blessed to have him.

For instance, right now, he's encouraging me to continue blogging as he vacuums the living room. He's so supportive of me. I'm excited for our next semester. We both have some good classes coming up, and I'll be graduating in April, so that's motivation to work hard and get through this semester. Stephen is going to continue working ten-hour days twice a week and I'll be manning the fort here at home.  It's a strange phenomenon that no matter how much I clean, there is always more to clean. And I don't even have children yet! Mothers, I'm sorry! Dirt collects no matter how many people live in a house. One of my New Year resolutions is to spend more time cleaning each day in order to not have to spend so much time on my weekends making up for my lack of attention.

Well, enough talk of cleaning--I need to get to work! Dishes need to be unloaded and laundry needs to be folded. Then my husband is taking me out on a date! Man, am I spoiled!