4th of July, 5 Months Old (Almost), and 6 Pounds Gone

I use to try and post twice a month. Now, it's becoming a once-a-month thing. So much has happened though, and I probably won't be able to remember it all. Still, let's cover some highlights.

Paige went through a sleep regression for a while. She would wake up several times a night; sometimes just feeding her would put her back to sleep, and other times, it took more effort. Both Stephen and I felt the dip in our sleep, and that made things rough for a bit. Stephen is really good at picking up the slack on my hard days. Paige seems to be doing a lot better now, though she wakes up more often than she use to. I guess this is what it's like to have a normal baby. I've become a lot better at nursing her in bed though. Often in the mornings, she'll wake up after Stephen's gotten up and I'll bring her to bed with me for a few more hours of sleep and let her rest on his side of the bed. I've done research into safe bed sharing, so don't hate.

She's about 50% on putting herself to sleep in the crib, which is a big step from a month ago. If she fights it long enough, I'll get her up and put her to sleep myself. Otherwise, I stand by her crib and give her the pacifier a few times while either singing to her or playing music to her. We bounce back and forth between Geronimo and the Primary songbook. Sometimes she welcomes her nap, and other times, not so much. She's also cut down on the amounts of naps she takes each day. Where she use to sleep every two to three hours, she now only naps two or three times a day. I'm adjusting our schedule to fit that.

Paige has grown a lot in her abilities. She's now able to roll over both directions. She did a full 360 once too. She's much more interested in toys and loves to play with them. She's also much more interested in things that aren't toys that are fun to play with too, which keeps me on my toes sometimes. If she can reach it, it's only a matter of seconds before it's in her mouth. She will wiggle and squirm herself towards toys, and spins around in a circle to play with different toys. It's only a matter of time before she figures out how to get on her knees, and then I know she'll be off. She's recently discovered her toes, too, and that's been one of her favorite toys.

She also likes to give kisses to me, and often just sucks on my chin. I've learned that she's ticklish on her jawline and I make her laugh a lot because of it. It's pretty cute. She's still able to fit in some of her 0-3 month clothes, but for the most part, she's comfortable in the 3-6 month sizes. She's getting better at her balance, but still can't sit up on her own yet. Once she does, I'll start trying to feed her solids. I'm excited for that, not because it'll replace nursing, but because it'll be fun to watch her learn and try new things. I'm determined to give her lots of healthy options and hopefully start some good habits. 

Speaking of healthy options and good habits, I've joined a mommy fitness challenge. It's eight weeks long and started last Monday. In this past week's time, I've lost 6 pounds and 5 inches. I'm feeling pretty accomplished for that. I've also gone running a lot and though I'm slow, there's so much improvement than there was a month or two ago. I've been working on eating healthy, whole, clean foods. I'm drinking green smoothies and eating a lot of yummy salads and just trying to emphasis plants in my diet. I told Stephen yesterday that my diet is "I can eat a lot of stuff, I just can't eat a lot of stuff." In other words, portion control on many healthy options. I'm glad I'm already seeing the benefits of this lifestyle change, and I hope to continue for the next seven weeks and beyond. Paige is a great motivation for me to live the kind of life I really want to. 

Independence Day turned out to be two days for us this year since Stephen got Friday off in observance. I insisted we all wear red, white, and/or blue for both the 3rd and the 4th. Friday night, we went to Riverton and watched a parade. It was a little stressful to find a good parking spot and a good spot to watch the parade, but it turned out to be perfect. The parades I watched growing up were much shorter and less exciting than this parade. It lasted over an hour and had a lot of fun floats. Paige had the "not impressed" look through a lot of it, but I was impressed. I'm just grateful she didn't cry and hate it, even if she didn't understand anything. 

When it got dark that night and after we put Paige in bed, Stephen and I went outside with the baby monitor and lit some little fireworks. We had sparklers and pop its and one that you set on the road and it sparked and stuff. It was pretty fun to play with fire with my best friend. I squealed probably more than I should have. Stephen had fun too. 

Saturday morning we went to a park in Sandy. There, we watched police dogs do obstacle courses and attack "bad guys." We also walked around and looked at the booths. There was one that sold cute books and I bought one for Paige for Christmas. We spent the afternoon at home and I made a fun 4th of July indoor BBQ. I made tuna burgers with a bean salad and corn on the cob. We drank fruit punch out of our fancy glasses and Paige cooperated for most of the meal. Later, we had angel food cake with strawberry sauce. Super yummy! 

That night, we watched the fireworks. The three of us dove up the hill and found a clearing where we could look over the valley. There were so many fireworks! It seemed like every mile, there was another launch site. We listened to the radio play patriotic music and enjoyed the show for a while. Paige slept through most of it, which means they weren't loud enough to scare her, so that was nice. Overall, we had a really good holiday.

It's hard to believe it's almost been five months since Paige was born. I'm sure I'm forgetting to note a lot of her new accomplishments, as well as interesting things we've done in the past month. That why I use to write more often. But my days are full with family and health and homemaking now, as well as plenty of Reba and Family Feud. Not every day is easy, but overall it's a lot of fun. 

Four Months and Family Memories

I had notes about Paige to write for her four month post, but them my phone deleted them. So this is going off of memory. Also, I'm using my phone to write some of this, so forgive me for any errors. Paige turned four months last Friday but I haven't had a chance to post about it until now. It's hard to think of all the new things that she's been doing; it's hard for me to look back and think when she started doing things. It feels like she's always been like this. Then I look up baby pictures when she was a newborn and realize how far we've come. 

So Paige is a talker. It seems like a few weeks ago, she discovered her voice. This is good for me because she often just babbles instead of crying when she wants or needs something. Like, when she wakes up from a nap happy, she will just cool at me until I come get her. Then she flashes a huge smile and get really excited to see me. I much rather have her wake up like that and screaming and crying. It's also a really cute to try to have conversations with her. Also, I love tapping my finger on her mouth to change her sound and she likes it too.

Speaking of her getting excited to see me, I feel like she is the most happy to see me than any other person has ever been. It's so cute to see her squeal and wave her hands and kick her feet. It's like a whole body can't contain your excitement. And all I did was show up. Why weren't boys like that when I was dating? She's also really happy to see daddy when he comes home--she's almost as happy as I am. She really is a daddy's girl. Stephen got her to laugh the hardest when he was doing push-ups with her. She hasn't laughed like that before or since. Luckily we got it on video. She will smile back at almost anyone that smiles at her if she is in a good mood. If she's in a bad mood, it doesn't matter who she sees, she's not happy.

Physically, Paige is very advance for her age. She was able to hit all of the mile markers for being 4 month old around the time she was 3 months old. However, she has yet to actually roll over on her own. There have been a few times when her head tipped far enough that she rolled, but that was just by accident. She seems like she's really close a few times for rolling over from her back to her stomach but she has yet to actually commit to it.

At her for month check up, Paige weighed 13 pounds and had grown 4 inches since she was born. She's only in the 30th percentile for her age, but the doctor is not concerned, so neither am I. I've had people comment on how little she is, and it's true that she small, but she is growing enough and has enough diapers for me to know she's eating plenty too. Speaking of diapers, she's really good at big summer blow out. I'll just keep that there for the record to embarrass her with it later in life.

Paige is really good at doing a half push-up and holding her head up really high. She loves to look around and see what's going on. She wants to be included on all the action any time we go somewhere new. Because of this, she often skip a nap or skip a feeding because she's too distracted by what's going on. She's going a lot longer between eating, and that's been nice for me. Her naps are not very long, but she does well at night. There have been enough night feedings though to make me realize how hard it would be if Paige actually woke up all the time throughout the tonight. My heart goes out to all the other moms who have to do the night shift far more often than I do.

Paige has also shown more interested in toys. Within a week, she went from oblivious to obsessive over toys. It's fun to try and play with her now. She's getting the grabbing motion down, but she doesn't have a concept of holding onto things yet. And if the toy goes out of her sight, it doesn't exist. Now I have to be careful of her wanting to play with things that aren't toys, like power cords and my hair. Still, I'm happy she's reaching this milestone.

We are also working on her putting herself to sleep in her crib. I was really worried it would be a nightmare and a constant battle, but she surprised me by doing extremely well. I have to make sure she's calm when I put her down, and I've needed to give Paige her pacifier a few times when she looses it, but overall, she's had a high success rate. It makes me want to celebrate. I knew I didn't want to do the cry-it-out method, so I wasn't sure what I would do if she hated falling asleep on her own, but with just a little extra effort on my side (but much less than her falling asleep in my arms), she's able to put herself to sleep.

I think that covers all of the details I want to point out. In other news, We've had a busy week. Last Saturday, we attended a funeral for my cousin Ryan. It was like a mini-reunion, and I appreciated that. Paige was being fussy after her shots, but my mom helped to take care of her and show her off to family members, which gave me a nice break.

Then on Sunday, we went to Stephen's family's cabin. It was tricky to take care of Paige at the cabin, but it worked out alright. She just never wanted to sleep since there was so much going on. It was fun for me to play games with his family--I ended up winning a lot more than I thought I would. We hiked a lot--any time we put Paige in the wrap and hiked, she fell asleep quickly. That seemed to be the only time she slept well, Overall, I'm glad we went. I hope to make many more good memories at the cabin.

We came home Tuesday night and met up with my mom, who stayed with us for a few days while my brother Joseph had New Student Orientation at the University of Utah. My mom changed every diaper while she was here. If you ever want to know how to help out a new mom and give her a break, change all the diapers. I really don't mind changing Paige, but I will gladly let someone else do it. My mom also helped me around my house to decorate and organize more. I was able to cross off a lot of to-do items that had been lingering on my list too long. I'm most proud of my photo wall collage. It's about 90% done, so once it's completely finished, I'll post pictures.

Because there has been so much going on, Paige's update is late, but as you can tell, we've been busy. It's at least been a fun-busy, adding memories and adventure to our lives. I'm so grateful for family and the chance we've had to be with them, and I love being a part of my own little family and watching Paige learn and grow.

Vacation, Visits, and Personal Development

Having a baby has taken up a lot of my blogging time, but I want to document things still, so this will be a catch-all recap. 

For Memorial Day weekend, we went to Arizona to visit my Grandma. We were able to take a four-generation picture as it was Paige's first time to meet my Grandma. We had plans to go to Lake Powell, but the weather didn't cooperate. It was fun to hang out inside instead. We also visited my Grandpa's grave.

I tried teaching my siblings how to make animals out of beads like my siblings and I use to do when we were younger, but their lack of enthusiasm made it feel worse than pulling teeth. But other activities went over better, like playing games and taking care of Paige. I think the best thing about visiting with family is seeing them interact with Paige (the second best thing is when they change the diapers for me). It was a very good trip and turned out really well.

My mom and my sister, Sarah, came and stayed with us this past week. It was great to spend so much time with them. We spent the week sewing different projects. I bought a sewing machine and my mom helped to teach me how to use it. I made fabric letters for Paige to play with. It was a great beginner project and turned out really cute. I also did a lot of mending by myself, and felt a great sense of accomplishment. I'm looking forward to making more things and developing that talent. 

Tom and Deborah came up twice during that week to visit. I made a carrot cake and decorated it all by myself. Or rather, like I said to Deb, "All without your help," since she is the artistic one in the family. We played games, talked, and had fun. It's nice to have my family close. While my mom was visiting, Stephen and I went to the temple and did sealings. We were able to do a lot of family names and finish up the work for a few people that I've been working on for the past few years. And it was nice to have another date with Stephen. 

My new rule of a family outing every Saturday has been going well. One week we went to Pizza Pie Cafe. Another week we went to Sheel's (a sportsman store) and walked around. We went to a festival at the local Catholic school and looked around. This past weekend we took Paige swimming for the first time since it was a free day at the pool. She was really confused by it, but didn't cry, so that's good. She liked looking at all the action going on around her. Paige really likes any action going on around her. She loves going to new places and seeing different people. 

We've also been working on things around the house. Stephen and I are trying to improve on our emergency preparedness. I think my 72-hour kit is about up to par, and I've started making Paige's kit. I've been trying to decorate more too. I feel like I have a lot of half-finished projects, but as soon as they're done, it's going to be so cute. My wall collage, chalk table, and beach-themed bathroom will hopefully be really cute when it comes together. And now adding sewing to my crafting list, I'm going to be spending a lot of time making things. That is, as much time as Paige will let me.

I've also been trying to make time for exercising. Within the weeks after giving birth, I dropped 45 pounds (and considering I only gained 30 through my pregnancy, that was really good). But then I stalled for a long time. I can't say I was actively working on it, though. I would try to go on walks with Paige, but nothing intense. But a few weeks ago, I committed to being more active. I started a couch-to-5k training app and I've seen a lot of improvement. The scale doesn't reflect it, but my ability to run has increased, and I believe it's more important to be healthy and fit than it is to be skinny. I want to be healthy for Paige, and being able to run for three minutes straight repeatedly is something I'm not sure I've ever been able to do. I would love to be able to run a 5k when my sister Susan gets home from her mission next month, but if I could even run a mile in under 12 minutes, that would be a personal record.

And now for Paige. She's as cute as ever. I want to make a four-month post soon (can you believe it's been that much time already?) so I won't write a lot, but I will say she's adorable. She's not sleeping as well as she use to overnight, but it's still only like, one extra feeding, so it's not too bad. She likes to stay up late with the party. She's in larger clothes that are super cute, but it was hard to put away her smaller outfits. She sticks to her schedule pretty well, and sometimes skips a feeding or two through the day, meaning she can go longer without eating, which is awesome. She naps pretty well through the day but evenings and nights are rough to get her to sleep. Speaking of which, she has just woken up from her nap, and it's time to go back to being a mommy. 

Rolling Rollins at Three Months Old

Paige is not quite three months old, but I figured I would write now while I have the chance since this may take more than one sitting. I'm going to warn you: this post is going to sound like I'm bragging. Paige is such a dream baby and I'm so happy being a mom. I know that people say you're not suppose to wait to be happy in life, but I always wanted to be a mom, and now that I am, I really do feel fulfilled. She's one of my best friends, even at this young age. I feel like I'm living this perfect little life with my husband and baby in our cute basement apartment. It's super cliche, but I love it.

Paige is growing each day, and it's fun to watch her change. I was looking at pictures from her birth the other day; it was strange to realize how different she really looks. She's a lot less wrinkly and has a lot more rolls. I think she looks more like Stephen, especially in her eyes. She is very alert and has been from the beginning, but it's fun to see her smile and interact with things around her. I really do all I can to get her to smile at me. Seeing her smile is the best part of parenting.

She's also very strong--she's been lifting herself up higher than she use to during tummy time, and has even managed to roll over a few times from her tummy to her back. Though the rolling is mostly caused by her head being too heavy for her to correct when she swings it too far to one side. Still, it's adorable. She doesn't realize she can roll over, and she's really good at not rolling when I pull out my camera (I must have at least a dozen failed attempts). Paige is also lengthening her cycle. She's not been super consistent on a set time, but often goes for 2 and a half hours or three hours before needing to repeat. At times, she loves to throw me off by not sleeping for several hours, especially when we're out somewhere and there are new things to see, but she's still consistent enough that I can plan my day out around her needs.

She's also filling out her clothes better. She's grown out of some of the newborn size ones, and I'm a lot more ok with that than I thought I would be. Mostly, I know she has a lot more cute clothes in the larger sizes that still don't fit yet that I want to use. She is about average in her sizing, so we're getting close to the next size up, though I think the outfits she wears now will last a bit longer. I have too much fun playing dress up, and Paige likes to give me multiple opportunities a day to change her clothes when she has what we call a "big summer blowout."

It's so fun watching her grow up. I feel like I'm doing my best to take it all in and appreciate all the cute, little things (though, as Stephen likes to remind me, everything about her is cute and little). I understand now why Heavenly Father loves to watch us grow and why we are His work and His glory. Not every day is easy--I definitely have moments where I just want time to myself, and there are other times where I'm tired or worn out and don't have much patience. Paige is really good at reminding me how much I love her though. She'll look at me and smile and suddenly, it's all worth it.

We try to get out of the house every day. It's harder when the weather is bad, but on good days, we will go for walks or go shopping together. She's a much better shopping buddy than Stephen is (Stephen is fine at shopping, but it's not the same as girl-time shopping--they are two entirely different experiences with entirely different purposes). I've been having fun exploring different stores with her. My current favorite is Joann's fabric store. We go look at all the cute crafts--it's like the physical manifestation of pinterest. I've decided I want to be more crafty in my life, and I've taken on a few projects already. I decorated Paige's nursery with embroidery hoops and I have a coffee table I'm going to paint with chalkboard paint once the weather clears up. I'm also saving up for a sewing machine and I hope to start developing that talent. 

As far as family news goes, Stephen formally walked for his graduation during commencement a few weeks ago. He's one of the few people I know who can make those graduation gowns look good. He's just that handsome I guess. Some of my family came for it since my brother was also graduating at the same time. While I know they came to support the graduates, they really came to see Paige. I love watching my mom be a grandma, and I really love the extra help when she's here. 

Stephen and I also took our first official date post-baby. We hired my sister to babysit since I knew I could trust her. It was really hard for me to leave Paige, even for a few hours. Stephen and I went to the movies with Stephen's company and saw the second Avengers movie on opening day. I mostly enjoyed spending time with Stephen and remember that we are husband and wife as well as daddy and mommy. Paige wasn't the best for my sister apparently--she's been having a hard time falling asleep with anyone but me--but we'll try again another time and see if she does better.

I've also made a new family rule that the three of us must leave the house and go do something together every Saturday. Some weeks, it's as simple as going for a walk around the neighborhood or buying groceries. This past weekend, we went to an Art festival in the park. It was a lot of fun to see people's cute crafts and realize how talented others are, but it also rained the whole time. You could say it didn't dampen our fun, though! (har har.) Paige slept the whole time in her waterproof car seat, and I'm pretty sure the rain was just white noise to her. 

In conclusion, I want to talk about Mother's day a bit. A few people have asked me what my first Mother's day as a mom is like. Mostly, it's given me a deeper appreciation for my mom. As a child, you know that your mom takes care of you a lot and works hard, but as an adult and now a new mom myself, I'm realizing just how much she did for me and my siblings and still continues to do. If I could be half as great as my mom is, Paige will be lucky and blessed. Anyone who knows my mom will agree. I'm also grateful for the other mother figures in my life. I'm glad Stephen has such a great mom that welcomed me so fully into her family, and that we both have amazing grandmas. Now that I am a mom, I see the reason behind the holiday dedicated to celebrating motherhood and womanhood.

Being a new mom has made this day extra special personally too. Stephen has gone above and beyond to show his love for me. He made breakfast while I was in the shower and baked a chocolate cake since he knew how much I love chocolate (that may be why I'm struggling to loose the last five pounds to make it to my first mile marker goal weight). He bought me a rose and a sweet card, as well as a new hair straightener. Most of all, he has agreed to change all of the diapers today. Really, he's spoiling me. 

I cried during sacrament meeting today as the primary children sang to their moms. It was touching to realize that I am a mom now. It's a dream I've always had, and now it has come true. I feel like I'm living in a fairy tale with such a wonderful husband and daughter. We have a cute little life. I clean and cook and take care of a baby and greet my husband as he comes home around five. It's seems like a snapshot in a magazine for how wonderful it all is. I'm so, so grateful for it all. We might not have every material thing we could want, and it does seem like the laundry never ends, but that is the exact life I want. I love being a wife to my handsome Stephen and be a mom to my darling Paige. Mother's day is not just for appreciating my mom now--it is also for celebrating the fact that I am a mom, and what better holiday could there be. 

Two Months and Tons of Fun

Two months have past since Paige came into our lives. It doesn't seem like that much time has happened, but that's what the calendar says. She's growing up so well. I feel like I'm bragging when I talk about her, but she really is a great baby. We have a steady pattern that she keeps to most of the time, though every now and then she'll mix it up on me for an hour or two, but then we're back to normal. It's nothing I can set my watch to, but enough that I know why she's crying, or how long I'll have until she starts crying for something. It is a huge blessing. 

And yes, she really does sleep through the night 90% of the time. I'm sometimes surprised when she only sleeps for 6 hours in a row. Lately, it's been about 8 hours or so. She then cycles through her eat-play-sleep every two to three hours until bedtime. We then do an eat-bathe-eat-sleep cycle to get her physically and mentally ready for her long sleep. Because she has two-hour cycles, we choose which one to make bedtime, which is helping all of us get to bed earlier. Normally, it's sometime between 9:30 and 11:00. Since we've added the bath to the nighttime routine, she goes down pretty easily, eliminating the need for the "first watch" that Stephen and I use to do to help one of us get some sleep. Now, we can all go to bed at the same time. Huge blessing again. I like falling asleep next to my husband at the same time. I hadn't realized how much that meant to me. Having different bedtimes was hard, especially when nothing was predictable, but with the extra effort of a bath each night, we all have a better night.

Her two-month checkup is on Wednesday, so I'm not sure what her stats will be, but I do know she's growing up well. She still has some baby acne, but it's gotten a lot better. She eats and fills her diapers regularly enough that I know she's healthy. She's grown out of her first outfit, so that's a milestone. It was one of the outfits she wore on her first day, (honestly, I don't remember which outfit we put her in first--it might have been this one) and even thought it's a newborn-size, it's lasted this long. I'm surprisingly more ok with her growing up than I thought I would be. I've promised myself to appreciate every stage and not have any regrets about it. 

Besides being a mom, I've also been spending my time doing family history work. I find it pretty easy for me to do while Paige is sleeping in the wrap. Since I'm not able to be away from Paige long enough to attend the temple, connecting families and finding missing members and making names available for the temple is my next best option. It depends on a lot of different circumstances for how many names I can get, but in a few good hours, I can add about a dozen names. I like to think that's pretty good. A lot of it is thanks to my Grandpa Jack's genealogy books, so I have that extra help. I like to think at how impressed my Grandpa Jack would have been with the Church's family history system. Since he's not alive to appreciate it, I'll transfer his work online for him. 

In the past few weeks, I've been obsessed with Divergent. I know I kind of missed that train a while ago, but the movie plays on TV a few times a week, and I try to watch it when I can. In fact, I've been watching it while blogging now. I've also read the book now and have the second one on hold from the library. It's been too long since I've read for fun. I read a lot of articles online and church material, but I haven't gotten into a novel for a while, so that was fun for me. 

Besides the regular routine of life, Stephen, Paige, and I went to Boise this past weekend for Michael's (Stephen's brother) baptism. We debated a long time if we should go or not. Traveling with a newborn was daunting to me, but we really wanted to be supportive. We finally committed to going. We left Thursday after work and took Stephen's brother Mathew up with us. We had to stop three times on the drive up to take care of Paige, but she did a lot better than I feared she might. We stayed with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, Heidi and Scott, in their new townhouse, though we spent most of the time at Stephen's parent's house.

It was a challenge to take care of Paige and keep her routine going while wanting to spend as much time as possible with the family. Stephen was a great help, and Paige did really well. She spent a lot of time in the baby wrap so I could participate and do things like help with Michael's birthday party, play games, and eat. His baptism went really well too, and I'm glad we were there for it. I had to sacrifice staying up late talking to get enough sleep, or being with people in order to sit in the other room for a few minutes to feed Paige, but parenthood takes sacrifices sometimes. And it really wasn't too bad. We had to do some extra planning, but overall, we had a lot of fun.

Easter and Conference. General Conference was great. I'm looking forward to rereading the talks, since I spent a lot of the time taking care of Paige. But what I did catch was uplifting. For Easter, Deborah and Tom, my brother and sister, came over. We had a big breakfast and played cards. I tried putting Paige in an Easter dress, but it was way too big for her, so we gave up pretty quick. Stephen and I dyed eggs while Paige napped an then had our traditional egg roll. For the record, I won. 

One more note. We stared a garden a few weeks ago. I am notorious for killing plants, but I want to get better. We bought some lettuce, a tomato plant, and zucchini seeds and planted them in containers. In two days, the tomato plant was dead, but a few days ago, I saw the zucchini starting to bud, so we're having mixed reviews. Still, it's fun to water the plants each day with Paige, and I hope my efforts actually pay off. If not, we'll try again next year. It'll be a fun family project regardless. 

Well, life goes on. Not everything is perfect, but most of it is. I feel a little guilty for talking about how great things are, but we are really blessed. Heavenly Father is taking care of us.

Blessed by Family

Before I recap how great this past weekend was, I want to record some milestones for Paige. She is growing up and becoming stronger. On St. Patrick's Day, she pinched me for the first time, even though I was wearing green. She's found my hair and loves to tug on it when she's mad. Last night, I put her on her tummy on the floor while she was happy, and through her wiggling, she scooted herself around and within ten minutes, had her head where her feet began. I'm predicting that she'll be an early crawler at this rate. She's also started smiling and laughing on purpose. I thought she was smiling on St. Patrick's day and tried to get it on camera, but she wasn't cooperating. Stephen and I recorded her being happy last night, so I'll make yesterday the official milestone of her first smile and laugh. 

She also slept eight hours in a row last week and only woke up because we had to go to church. Paige slept at least six hours in a row for the majority of the nights this past week, which I know is spoiling me. I have no idea why, but something I must be doing works. She is still a night owl though, and loves to not start sleeping until after midnight, sometimes even two in the morning, but makes up for it by sleeping in. She's like me, I suppose, so I can't blame her.

So this week was eventful for us. On Wednesday, I had my last midwife appointment. It was bittersweet. I've been seeing them for so long, it's odd to think I won't go back. But I guess I got what I went to them for. We weighed her there with her clothes on and she came in at 10 lbs 9 oz. That's three pounds more than her birth weight. She definitely is chunkier, but it just makes her cuter. It's also reassuring to know both she and I are healthy and fine.

She was sleepy that day. Before the appointment, while we were getting ready, she was tired and cranky. I knew the drive would put her to sleep, so I put her in her car seat while I fixed my hair and finished getting ready. She had been crying pretty strongly, but started to calm herself once she was in her seat. It was the cutest thing. She would give little whimpers or quick gasps of air like she was trying to stop crying and be strong. She put herself to sleep before we even got to the car. My little trooper.

Thursday night, we had a Relief Society dinner. I took Paige with me and she did really well. I love it when she sleeps while I eat so I can enjoy my dinner. Otherwise, I eat with one hand or I listen to her cry at me. She did wake up an need to eat, so I stepped out for a bit, but otherwise, she behaved just fine. A lot of people commented on how alert she was. Paige is also really good at holding her head up, and she gets a lot of remarks over that too. Each time I successfully go out with her gives me more confidence.

Thursday night to Friday morning, Paige deviated from her predictability and kept me up until four in the morning to remind me that she's still a baby and that I should be more grateful for her good sleeping habits. But that didn't stop us from having a good day. I cleaned my house and prepped for company to come over. My sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and niece stayed with us this weekend. It's nice that we have the space for company to come over, which we really didn't have in Provo. They got here in the afternoon and we had dinner together once Stephen got home. 

After that, the girls went to a baby shower for Paige hosted by Stephen's aunt. Many of the women in Stephen's family were there--his mom, grandma, cousins, cousin's children, and aunts. It was a lot of fun to see everyone. We made headbands for Paige, and they all turned out really cute. She's been wearing some of them since and they really complete her outfits. It was fun to have a girl's night. We then hung out with Stephen's siblings and parents for a bit before heading back to our house to meet up with my family.

My mom came when we had Paige, but the rest of my family met her that night. It was fun to watch my siblings interact with Paige. I hadn't realized how unfamiliar they were with babies. Sarah was very timid to hold her, but warmed up with time. They didn't stay long that night, but Saturday, they came back over for a while. Everyone took turns holding Paige. When it came time to change her diaper, Sarah and Becca wanted to learn how to do it because they had never changed a diaper before, which is drastically different than my childhood. Joseph, Michael, and David were grossed out by it and gagged the whole time. The second diaper change, Sarah wanted to do it, so my mom walked her through the steps. The whole time, Sarah kept getting nervous and exclaiming "I can't do it," but she did a good job. It was really fun for me to spend so much time with my family and share Paige with them. 

Saturday evening, we gathered with Stephen's side of the family at the Joseph Smith Building across from the temple to celebrate his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. I was nervous about how well Paige would do, but she slept almost the whole time. She cried during the family pictures (of course) but I was able to put her in my baby wrap and she slept while I ate dinner. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren sang Families Can Be Together Forever. They also showed a video of Grandma and Grandpa talking about how they met and fell in love. It was so cute. The family then presented a quilt to the grandparents that was full of different memories. It was a special event. Afterwards, spent more time with Stephen's family playing games for the rest of the night.

Sunday morning, I got up early to make sure I had enough time to get everything ready for Paige's blessing day. I had to wake her up again, and it was so precious to watch her try to keep sleeping as I got her ready. Sorry, baby! It was also fun for me to put her in her dress. My mom made her blessing dress out of the same fabric as my wedding dress and used the same embroidery design too. It was so beautiful. 

Most of our family and friends were waiting for us at the church when we arrived. It was so great to see so many people supporting us. Paige did really well during her blessing--she was awake and alert and seemed to listen to what Stephen said. He blessed her to be a blessing to those around her, allowing others to feel her sweet spirit. It was when he blessed her to someday meet a man worthy of her and marry her in the temple that I cried. Stephen is so great. We took pictures after sacrament meeting.

After the block of meetings, we had a potluck luncheon. There was plenty of food, which I was worried about. I cooked like, 70 hot dogs in a crock pot. There was about thirty five people there according to Stephen's head count. It's hard bouncing back and forth between our families over the weekend, so it was nice to have everyone together so we didn't have to choose. It was sad to say goodbye to them all after such a great time, though. Once all our visitors were on the road, we took a family nap.

Overall, it was great to have so much going on because I had been looking forward to it for weeks, and while I was worried about Paige handling it all, she couldn't have been better. I'm really grateful for our families and for all the love we felt. Thank you to all who support us from near and far, in person and in thought. We are truly blessed.

One Month Old

Paige is one month old today. Has it really been a month? She's grown up so much in the past four weeks. I feel like she looks older when I compare her to the newborn pictures. (Is she still a newborn? When does that term no longer apply?) She has a lot of Stephen in her, but I have a hard time recognizing how she looks like me, so I'm not the best to ask. So far, I'm still able to fit her into all of her clothes, even the newborn-sized ones, but she's also growing into larger clothes. Some outfits that are technically 3-6 months fit her now, but there are also other 3-6 month clothes that I wonder if she'll ever fit into because they look so big against her.

Paige loves to be held as much as possible. She will be content to lay on her own sometimes, but tires of that quickly. For the most part, she has a predictable routine of eat-play-sleep. She'll eat for 15 to 20 minutes, then be content and happy for a half hour or so. Suddenly, the switch flips and she's tired, but doesn't know how to put herself to sleep. She'll get really fussy, but if I can convince her to relax for just long enough, she'll sleep. There's no way of knowing how long she'll sleep for--could be five minutes, could be hours, but I try to shoot for a half hour. We then repeat the process, though she always likes to throw me off just when I think I know she's going to do something. For instance, she just fell asleep after eating, so I'm typing this with her sleeping on me.

For as much as she might not nap during the day, she does sleep well at night. For the most part, she'll give me long stretches of sleep at night, from at least four hours, to the max record of seven hours in the row (that was last night, and it was wonderful). There are nights where she doesn't want to go back to sleep after she wakes to eat, and those are the harder nights. Stephen will often take that shift and stay up with her as needed. We're working on having a reasonable bed time, though. She likes to wait to start her night until midnight or so. But for being a newborn, Stephen and I have been getting a lot of sleep.

Paige isn't old enough yet to smile or laugh consciously, but she will often grin and giggle in her sleep. It's the cutest thing ever. She likes to play "super baby" and be held up in the air over my head. She then flies around and saves the day. Her favorite song is Geronimo by Sheppard--it will calm her down when she's crying and if I bounce her along with the beat, she'll often be asleep by the end of the song. I also sing primary songs to her, and she seems to like A Child's Prayer best. She likes to see what is going on, even though not much happens with just her and me hanging out at home. Still, she likes to face outwards and look around. She especially likes to look out the windows. 

We both enjoy our baby wrap. She will fall asleep really quickly when she's in it, which works for me, except I then have to keep her on me while she naps. This limits what I can do, but because I have my hands free, I still can get a lot done and she'll sleep longer. It also normally works best if she also has her pacifier (we had to try a different shape, but she'll now take a pacifier where she wouldn't initially). We'll often go on walks with her in my wrap, and the young neighborhood girls love to look at her if they're outside playing when we walk past. 

Paige doesn't like when we wipe her during a diaper change, She also isn't a fan of baths. She isn't sure if she likes her swing or not--often we use it to help her fall asleep, so she cries in it, but then will sleep well once she relaxes. She doesn't like the doctor's office because they keep moving her or poking her heel. Paige is alright riding in the car as long as she just ate recently--if she's hungry, she let's me know from the back seat, though the freeway will often put her to sleep too. She really doesn't like not eating when she thinks she's hungry. I do my best to not feed her for at least an hour between sessions, and for the most part, she's accepted that, but we have our rough spots.

I like playing dress up with her. She is so cute, and cute clothes add to her cuteness. Stephen likes to watch her grow, he says. She really has changed our lives, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been doing a lot better emotionally. Having some sort of routine helps me a lot, even if it's still really loose and flexible. I've also figured out her cries more--I think before I was feeding her when she was actually just tired, which would keep awake and make her overfed, leading to the vomiting. We're still getting better at nursing--it's harder on me than it is on her, but it's a lot better than it was the first two weeks.

We've also been working on getting out of the house and going places. Earlier this week, Paige and I went to a La Leche League meeting. That was a big support boost for me. Sometimes, I just need the reminder that I'm doing a good job, and the women in the meeting were very friendly and encouraging. I hope to go often to the monthly meetings. We also had our first trip to the store last week. I took longer than I had hoped and she woke up wanting to eat just as I stated grocery shopping. I did my best to keep her calm and shop quickly, but I learned my lesson to feed her first. 

The next time I went shopping, I left her home with Stephen, but it was hard for me to shop without worrying about them. I called home in the middle of my outing just to check in because I was too concerned. Yesterday, she and I tried going shopping again, and that trip was much better. She slept most of the time. We also went to church for the first time, and because I was willing to hold her through the meetings, she slept in my arms pretty contentedly. I enjoyed all the gawking over her (it was deserved, let's be honest). 

I would report about our lives outside of Paige, but there's not much besides that. 95% of my time is devoted to her, and the other five is saved for things like eating or showering. Stephen goes to work each day, but he checks in to make sure we are doing alright. He's worked from home some just to help me out on harder days or busy days. I'm glad he has that option. Stephen's also been biking to work so that I have access to the car, and that's been helpful.

I have learned so much about her and myself over this past month, but I think I've learned the most about Heavenly Father. I feel like I understand how He feels about us and how hard He really is trying to take care of us. There are times when I'm trying to help Paige and I feel like I'm doing all I can to meet her needs. For instance, when I know she's tired and I'm holding her and bouncing her and shushing her and she has her pacifier but is too busy crying to notice all my efforts and let them help her, I can imagine Heavenly Father doing the same with us. We are too upset sometimes at Him to notice all the help He's already giving us. We cry and complain at Him when He's doing all He can to help us recognize the answer and solution is right in front of us if we would just calm down and listen. I feel like there's a scripture or quote that talks about how we have the understanding of babies, but I wasn't able to find it. If you can, I'll give you a gold star. 

I've also come to realize that I've reached one of the last major milestones in my life for a while. I'm so use to having deadlines, due dates, and changes, it's weird to realize this is how life is going to be for the next foreseeable future. Stephen goes to work. I take care of Paige. Paige grows up. This is what we're going to do for years. Yes, we'll add more kids to the family, but my role won't change. With my life being different every semester for so long, it's strange to think things won't change every four months. I'm fine with life being like this, I'm just not use to it. It's like I'm an adult. Weird.

The past month has been full of a lot of ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it away. I really feel like this is my purpose, and I'm so personally fulfilled by it. It also takes all I have and can be very draining. But she gives me a reason to get out of bed each morning (and every few hours through the night). I love watching Stephen be a dad, and the times when Paige is happy and the three of us are playing together on the floor, I feel so much love. We're a real family now, and while it still seems surreal, I love being a mom to Paige. She and Stephen are the best things that have ever happened to me. One month down, eternity to go!